July is here and we’re in the middle of summer.
With long and sunny days, barbecues with friends and family and with the wonderful permission to do absolutely nothing.
And to help you to make this a happy month I’d like to share 87 of the most witty, positive and funny July quotes.
I hope you’ll find something there to make you and your loved ones laugh, help reduce a bit of stress that may pop up and simply make this a fun and wonderful month.
Funny July Quotes and Sayings for a Happy Summer Month
“July is a blind date with summer.”
– Hal Borland
“July is the month where my ambition goes on vacation and I just hang around in the hammock all day long.”
– Sandra Shea
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawnmower is broken.”
– James Dent
“July is the month I officially replace all my responsibilities with flip flops and a sleepy attitude.”
– Sarah Kelly
“If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.”
– Roald Dahl
“Summer is the annual permission slip to be lazy.”
– Regina Brett
“It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.”
– Walter Winchell
“July, that lovely hell, all velvet dresses and drapes stuffed into a hot little hole.”
– Laura Kasischke
“Then came July like three o’clock in the afternoon, hot and listless and miserable.”
– Allie Ray
“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.”
– Russell Baker
“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.”
– Sam Keen
“But here I am in July, and why am I thinking about Christmas pudding? Probably because we always pine for what we do not have. The winter seems cozy and romantic in the hell of summer, but hot beaches and sunlight are what we yearn for all winter.”
– Joanna Franklin Bell
“No one’s gonna give a damn in July if you lost a game in March.”
– Earl Weaver
“What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.”
– Jane Austen
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”
– Mark Twain
“Do what we can, summer will have its flies.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Being a traditionalist, I’m a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I’m already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left.”
– John Waters
“A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.”
– Raymond Duncan
“I believe someone made a grievous mistake when summer was created; no novitiate or god in their right mind would make a season akin to hell on purpose. Someone should be fired.”
– Michelle Franklin
“July is hollyhocks and hammocks, fireworks and vacations, hot and steamy weather, cool and refreshing swims, beach picnics, and vegetables all out of the garden.”
– Jean Hersey
“Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show – in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.”
– Larry the Cable Guy
“If June was the beginning of a hopeful summer, and July the juice middle, August was suddenly feeling like the bitter end.”
– Sarah Dessen
Short, Funny and Inspirational July Quotes
“July is hot afternoons and sultry nights and mornings when it’s a joy just to be alive.”
– Hal Borland
“It’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine… it’s summertime!”
– Kenny Chesney
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
– Steve Martin
“JULY – Joy Unlimited Locate You.”
– Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha
“Summer afternoon – summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.”
– Henry James
“In summer, the song sings itself.”
– William Carlos Williams
“A little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.”
– John Mayer
“Hot July brings cooling showers, apricots, and gillyflowers.”
– Sara Coleridge
“Summertime and the livin’ is easy.”
– Porgy and Bess
“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”
– John Steinbeck
“One benefit of summer was that each day we had more light to read by.”
– Jeannette Walls
“If summer had one defining scent, it’d definitely be the smell of barbecue.”
– Katie Lee
“Autumn frosts have slain July.”
– Lewis Carroll
“Summertime is always the best of what might be.”
– Charles Bowden
“But tomorrow may rain, so I’ll follow the sun.”
– The Beatles
“When I feel the heat, I see the light.”
– Everett Dirksen
“It’s July and I have hope in who I am becoming.”
– Charlotte Eriksson
Hilarious July Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
“You can pour melted ice cream on regular ice cream. It’s like a sauce!”
– Chris Pratt
“Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer’s day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.”
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July fourth, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”
– Erma Bombeck
“I couldn’t tell you my wedding anniversary. Although I seem to remember it was in June. Or maybe July. Definitely a month beginning with a ‘J,’ anyhow. But not January. Um. I think.”
– Claudia Winkleman
“The average vacation is one-tenth playing – nine-tenths paying.”
– Arnold Glasow
“It is a grave error to assume that ice cream consumption requires hot weather.”
– Anne Fadiman
“When I figured out how to work my grill, it was quite a moment. I discovered that summer is a completely different experience when you know how to grill.”
– Taylor Swift
“Heat, ma’am! It was so dreadful here that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.”
– Sydney Smith
“Good weather all week, but come the weekend, and the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot, they complain; too cold, they complain; and when it’s just right, they’re watching TV.”
– Rita Rudner
“The noise from good toast should reverberate in the head like the thunder of July.”
– E. V. Lucas
“Vacation is that time when you wish you had something to do while doing nothing.”
– Frank Tyger
“Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.”
– Nora Ephron
“If the first of July be rainy weather, it will rain, more or less, for four weeks together.”
– John Ray
“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”
– Erma Bombeck
“It was always the view of my parents… that hot weather encouraged loose morals among young people.”
– Ian McEwan
“When Christmas comes in July, I often serve plum pudding pie with hot coffee or tea of chai, while air conditioning’s on high.”
– Patterson Mooney
“By July, a damp Southern heat had settled down on the town like warm sweet syrup.”
– Marti Healy
Funny and Uplifting July Quotes for Your Letter Board and Instagram
“In July, I run on three things: sunscreen, ice cream and sooner or later the faint hope of a cooling breeze.”
– Sarah Kelly
“Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.”
– Kellie Elmore
“If there’s heaven for me, I’m sure it has a beach attached to it.”
– Jimmy Buffett
“I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Summer means happy times and good sunshine. It means going to the beach, going to Disneyland, having fun.”
– Brian Wilson
“Our one wish is that the summer never ends!”
– Paul Dini
“Summer is singing with joy, and the beaches are inviting you with dancing waves.”
– Debasish Mridha
“I love how summer just wraps its arms around you like a warm blanket.”
– Kellie Elmore
“The summer looks out from her brazen tower, through the flashing bars of July.”
– Francis Thompson
“Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August.”
– Jenny Han
“My life, I realize suddenly, is July. Childhood is June, and old age is August, but here it is, July, and my life, this year, is July inside of July.”
– Rick Bass
“I drifted into a summer nap under the hot shade of July, serenaded by a cicada lullaby, to drowsy-warm dreams of distant thunder.”
– Terri Guillemets
“One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter.”
– Henry David Thoreau
“Sunshine and happiness go together like fish and chips!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Make use of the sun while it shines.”
– Danish Proverb
Funny 4th of July Quotes
“It’s Fourth of July weekend, or as I call it, ‘Exploding Christmas.’”
– Stephen Colbert
“Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“All people are born alike. Except Republicans and Democrats.”
– Groucho Marx
“There’s just something about deviled eggs, whether it’s the summer around Fourth of July for a picnic or a big sit-down meal like Christmas or Easter, we always do that.”
– Steve Doocy
“Laughter is America’s most important export.”
– Walt Disney
“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.”
– Bill Vaughan
“You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.”
– Jon Stewart
“When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.”
– George Carlin
“The truth will set you free, but first it will p**s you off.”
– Gloria Steinem
“I always have the most fun on the Fourth of July. You don’t have to exchange any gifts. You just go to the beach and watch fireworks. It’s always fun.”
– James Lafferty
“All great change in America begins at the dinner table.”
– Ronald Reagan
“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.”
– Stephen Colbert
“The United States is the only country with a known birthday.”
– James G. Blaine
“There are lots of emotions that go with the Fourth of July.”
– Dan Harmon
“We all know you can’t have a Fourth of July barbecue without the fixings that go with it.”
– Rachel Hollis
“Americans will put up with anything, provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
Want more laughs and inspiration for your summer? Then check out these funny summer quotes, the inspirational summer quotes here and also these ones with summer quotes for kids and uplifting and meaningful end of summer quotes.