The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s live-action remake of Moana (2016) is headed for a box office disaster after Thursday night previews generated just $4.5 million.
How bad is that?
Oh, it’s bad…
Context: Disney’s most recent flop, The Mandalorian and Grogu, had a $12 million Thursday preview.
A number of notable flops opened much higher in their Thursday night previews than Moana’s $4.5 million: The Flash — $9 million; Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny — $7.2 million; Supergirl did almost twice as much as Moana with $8.2 million.
Moana only did a smidge better than Snow White (2025), which opened to a Thursday night of $3.5 million.
No one asked for this movie. The reason for it must be that Disney has so effectively woke-marauded the IP it had counted on to keep its theatrical business going (Star Wars, Marvel, Pixar) that, in what could only be a desperate moment, the live-action Moana was greenlit. The meeting probably went something like this…
Okay, so what do we have for summer 2026?
Well, we were going to release a new Star Wars movie called Rey and Her Female Gym Teacher: A Star Wars Story.
Yeah, the toxic Star Wars fans are too bigoted for that.
Then there was Ant-Man Finds His Feminine Side.
Same fan problem.
So we’re thinking about a live-action remake of Moana.
That movie’s only ten years old.
Yeah, and the sequel came out last year.
I know, I know, but see if you can follow me here. A live-action Moana movie puts Dwayne Johnson in a skirt and drag-queen wig for the whole two hours. It’s more subtle than we would like, but I think that still counts as grooming.
Yes,
Yes!
Go for it!
I’m only half joking.
As Breitbart News reported Thursday, Moana cost $250 million to produce and at least another $100 million to promote, so Disney is looking at a break-even point of over $500 million, which is not going to happen.
Tee hee.
Better still, Moana is getting killed by critics. Yes, this movie is so dreadful, even Disney’s sycophants can’t defend it. Currently, it sits at 35 percent rotten on Rotten Tomatoes. Get a load of this…
That 35 percent rotten is worse than the Disney flops Wish (2023) at 48 percent; Snow White (2025) at 39 percent; and Strange World (2022) at 62 percent.
A weekend opening of under $40 million is possible for Moana.
What a wonderful weekend all decent people will have watching the Disney Grooming Syndicate lose a few hundred million dollars.