CNN, a far-left propaganda outlet that spreads conspiracy theories and political violence, will soon be available on the streaming service HBOMax.
This is a huge, huge deal that tells you just how much trouble CNNLOL and Warner Bros. Discovery (WBD) are in…
See if you can locate the fantasy part…
“Warner Bros. Discovery Inc. is planning to add live programming from CNN to the Max streaming service later this year,” reports Bloomberg. This is, “according to people familiar with the matter, betting that news can help attract subscribers.” More:
Putting news on Max in the US could be complicated. Pay-TV providers like Comcast Corp. and DirecTV typically pay for the right to offer cable channels to their subscribers and are sensitive about efforts by media companies to offer the same programming online.
Here’s my favorite part–the fantasy part on steroids:
CNN, one of the largest news organizations in the world, has struggled to find its footing in the streaming era. Last year, the company shut down the CNN+ streaming service just a few weeks after its launch. The network is also seeking leadership stability. Earlier this month, CEO Chris Licht stepped down after a brief and tumultuous tenure at the network.
Fantasy part one: WBD is “betting that [CNNLOL] can help attract subscribers” to HBOMax.
Fantasy part on steroids: “having [CNNLOL’s] live programming appear on Max could provide a significant boost to the network’s audience.”
“Significant,” y’all…
Shall we do the math to debunk this nonsense…? We shall…
According to Wikipedia, CNN is currently available in 80 million U.S. households. And yet, although 80 million households can watch CNN anytime they choose, only about 500,000 tune in.
CNN cannot even attract one percent of its available audience, so…
On what planet will this abject failure and national joke boost HBOMax subscriptions?
Oh, and how will CNN’s availability on HBOMax boost viewership for a CNN that is already ignored by more than 99 percent of its available audience?
Allow me to tell you what’s really happening here, and I promise the news is all good.
CNN is doomed.
CNN cannot survive without the affirmative action of pay TV, where a portion of your cable bill goes directly to CNN. That’s how CNN stays afloat–the carriage fees that force you to subsidize a Hate Outlet you don’t watch. If CNN is part of your pay TV package, you are subsidizing CNN’s hate, racism, violence, lies, and overall Nazism.
But.
Within a decade, CNN and a whole host of left-wing networks no one watches (MTV, the Disney Grooming Channel, Comedy Central) will not be able to survive. Pay TV is dying — tee hee. These outlets can’t survive on merit, meaning advertising revenue that is based on viewers. Why? Because no one watches! They need the pay TV grift, and pay TV is dying. People are cutting the pay-TV cord and moving to streaming. Streaming is cheaper (and frequently free — see FreeVee, Pluto, and RokuTV) and has fewer ads than cable’s punishing 20 minutes of catheter and reverse mortgage ads per hour. Streamers must survive on merit (attract subscribers), and we already know the disgraced CNNLOL cannot survive as a standalone streaming service.
So…
Adding the discredited CNNLOL to HBOMax is a desperate move, pure and simple.
If WBD doesn’t add CNN to its streaming service, CNN will disappear entirely in eight to ten years, and the self-appointed elite will lose its fascist propaganda outlet. Although CNN has already lost its ability to influence a public that sees right through its serial lies, the elite is not willing to give up on a staff of good dogs (Jim Acosta, Jake Tapper, Anderson Cooper, Erin Burnett, John King, etc.) who do and say what they are told to do and say.
The great news is this…
One of the few things keeping cable alive is live TV. Like most sporting events, people cannot stream CNN, MSNBC, or Fox News. So these people hang on to their obscenely-priced cable packages to watch live TV. One of the reasons fascist multinational corporations like WBD have refused to leave TV (like CNN) to streaming was to preserve pay TV. These corporations knew that moving CNN to streaming would only speed up the cord-cutting that devastates their bottom lines. Remember, most of these companies are making billions on cable TV and losing billions on their streaming services.
Well, adding CNN to HBOMax tells us just how desperate WBD is, how bad things are getting, and that CNN is doomed to eventually become an app (no one watches) on a streaming service that’s either losing or not making anywhere near that kind of money.
Glorious.
GLORIOUS!