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Home»Lifestyle»Funny, Short and Spooky Sayings
Lifestyle

Funny, Short and Spooky Sayings

September 22, 2026No Comments10 Mins Read
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A Halloween pumpkin with the text: Happy Halloween
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Halloween.

That magical time of the year when the air gets crispy, the evenings spooky and we get to eat way too much candy.

In today’s post I want to focus on this special time and share 101 of the spookiest, funniest and best Halloween quotes.

Use one or a couple of your favorites for cards, social media posts on for example Instagram or in group chats with family and friends to make this a happy, fun and memorable celebration.

The Best Happy Halloween Quotes

“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.”
– Brackett (from the movie Halloween)

“We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.”
– Stephen King

“Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.”
– Tim Burton

“There is something haunting in the light of the moon.”
– Joseph Conrad

“The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween.”
– Paula Guran

“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
– Douglas Coupland

“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.”
– Arthur Conan Doyle

“Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows’ Eve.”
– Ray Bradbury

“Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”
– William Shakespeare

“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.”
– Edgar Allan Poe

“Halloween is an ancient druidic holiday, one the Celtic peoples have celebrated for millennia. It is the crack between the last golden rays of summer and the dark of winter; the delicately balanced tweak of the year before it is given over entirely to the dark.”
– Jenny Colgan

“I am all in a sea of wonders; I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.”
– Bram Stoker

“The world turned upside down – in a good way – for one black velvet night.”
– Karen Fortunati

“She used to tell me that a full moon was when mysterious things happen and wishes come true.”
– Shannon A. Thompson

“I was born on the night of Samhain, when the barrier between the worlds is whisper-thin and when magic, old magic, sings its heady and sweet song to anyone who cares to hear it.”
– Carolyn MacCullough

“Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, but it’s about finding the imagination and costume within ourselves.”
– Elvis Duran

“A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man woke in the night.”
– J.M. Barrie

“Men say that in this midnight hour, the disembodied have power.”
– William Motherwell

“The moon has awoken with the sleep of the sun, the light has been broken; the spell has begun.”
– Midgard Morningstar

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“Listen to them – the children of the night. What music they make!”
– Bram Stoker

“It’s as much fun to scare as to be scared.”
– Vincent Price

Funny Happy Halloween Quotes That’ll Make You Laugh

“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’”
– Rita Rudner

“This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.”
– Conan O’Brien

“If you want to scare your boyfriend next Halloween, come dressed as what he fears most. Commitment.”
– Peter Nelson

“Was deciding if I should dress as Batman or Spiderman for Halloween, when I realized I’m a grown man. So, Batman.”
– Stephen Colbert

“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“As a kid, Halloween was amazing. You dress like a superhero, you bang on your neighbor’s door, and they give you candy. I do that today, and my neighbor wants me arrested.”
– Jim Gaffigan

“A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.”
– Stephen Graham Jones

“Halloween is the only time people can become what they want to be without getting fired.”
– Sylvester Stallone

“There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.”
– Jean Baudrillard

“Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”
– David Letterman

“I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?’”
– Drew Carey

“Behind every great Halloween costume is a parent who stayed up way too late working on it.”
– Sandra Shea

“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”
– Glen Nesbit

“Halloween is so close I can practically taste the children’s tears.”
– Frances Bean Cobain

“All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.”
– Lewis Black

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.”
– Willy Wonka

“Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas.”
– Stephen Colbert

“I’ve made a career off of Halloween.”
– Cassandra Peterson

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
– Ogden Nash

“It’s that special time of year where we voluntarily imbibe pumpkin-spiced lattes: the coffee that tastes like a candle.”
– John Oliver

“And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
– Many villains in Scooby-Doo

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“Candy was my whole life when I was a kid. The first ten years of my life, I think the only clear thought I had was ‘get candy.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld

Short Happy Halloween Quotes and Sayings for Work

“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.”
– Mason Cooley

“Being normal is vastly overrated.”
– Aggie Cromwell (from the movie Halloweentown)

“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.”
– Steve Almond

“A mask tells us more than a face.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
– L.M. Montgomery

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
– William Shakespeare

“There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.”
– Colette

“I must go in. The fog is rising.”
– Emily Dickinson

“We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!”
– Humbert Wolfe

“On Halloween you get to become anything that you want to be.”
– Ava Dellaria

“Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.”
– Judy Gold

“I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.”
– Evan Peters

“Being in a band you can wear whatever you want – it’s like an excuse for Halloween every day.”
– Gwen Stefani

“Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.”
– River Phoenix

“If you’ve got it, haunt it.”
– Rose Pressey

“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
– George Carlin

“Keep calm and carry a wand.”
– A.W. Jantha

“After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.”
– Emily Luchetti

“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?”
– Linus (from the movie It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)

“I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed.”
– Rihanna

Spooky and Cute Happy Halloween Quotes for Kids

“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”
– Bill Watterson

“Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.”
– Aggie Cromwell (from Halloweentown)

“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!”
– Rusty Fischer

“Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen. Voices whisper in the trees, ‘Tonight is Halloween!’”
– Dexter Kozen

“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.”
– Robert Brault

“The best part of Halloween isn’t the candy – it’s that you get to be someone else for a night.”
– Sarah Kelly

“I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”
– Jay Hawkins

“Shadows mutter, mist replies; darkness purrs as midnight sighs.”
– Rusty Fischer

“A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.”
– Lucy Van Pelt (from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)

“The witches fly across the sky, the owls go, ‘Who? Who? Who?’ The black cats yowl, and green ghosts howl, ‘Scary Halloween to you!’”
– Nina Willis Walter

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“Werewolves howl. Phantoms prowl. Halloween’s upon us now.”
– Richelle E. Goodrich

“On Halloween, witches come true; wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.”
– Nicholas Gordon

“‘Tis the night – the night of the grave’s delight and the warlocks are at their play; ye think that without the wild winds shout, but no, it is they – it is they.”
– Arthur Cleveland Coxe

“I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one.”
– Linus (from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)

“There’s children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads, they’re busy building toys and absolutely no one’s dead!”
– Jack Skellington (from the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas)

“From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!”
– Scottish Saying

“Why spiders? Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies?’”
– Ron Weasley (from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Happy Halloween Quotes for Your Letter Board

“I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.”
– Wednesday Addams

“It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.”
– Max (from the movie Hocus Pocus)

“I don’t understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.”
– Charlie Brown (from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)

“I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”
– Wednesday Addams

“I’m wicked through and through.”
– Elphaba (from Wicked)

“Never trust the living.”
– Beetlejuice

“There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!”
– The Nightmare Before Christmas

“It’s showtime!”
– Beetlejuice

“It’s alive!”
– Frankenstein

“Be afraid, be very afraid.”
– Ronnie (from the movie The Fly)

“I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.”
– Gomez (from The Addams Family)

“Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat.”
– Nicholas Gordon

“We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.”
– The Addams Family

“No good deed will I do again.”
– Elphaba

“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.”
– Dani (from Hocus Pocus)

“There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.”
– Unknown

“I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”
– Morticia Addams

“Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the ‘spirits’ of things.”
– Dee Snider

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”
– William Shakespeare

Want more Halloween inspiration? Then check out these short Halloween quotes and this one with lots of funny Halloween quotes and sayings.

Funny Sayings Short Spooky
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