Parents often shelter their children from struggle. That’s a natural impulse. But exposing children to real problems and showing them that they can overcome those problems helps their children learn to embrace the world rather than fear it. It’s an affirmation of both reality and possibility. The lesson the children learn is not to be driven by fear that they won’t succeed. In this article we will explore in more detail how successful entrepreneurs are raised.
Raising Successful Entrepreneurs
Alexis Jones, creator of I AM THAT GIRL, an online empowerment community for girls, learned from her mother, Claudia, that improving one’s life comes with a good deal of struggle. Claudia taught an auto repair extension class through the University of Texas, worked nights as a bartender, and at age 43 went back to school to get her BA. She modeled how to be independent and how to rely on yourself to make things happen.
Claudia always let Alexis choose her own path and make her own decisions, and supported everything Alexis wanted to do — from sports to modeling to acting to public speaking to pursuing a graduate degree.
When Alexis was accepted into a graduate program at the University of Southern California, but had no money to go, she found a garage in Beverly Hills to rent for $135 a month to live in, and then paid for school with scholarships and student loans. Alexis completed the two-year program in one year to make it more affordable. Now, through I AM THAT GIRL, Alexis is empowering girls around the world in the ways she was taught to do for herself.
Close And Supportive Relationships
Alexis and her mother are among 70 of today’s successful entrepreneurs and their parents that I interviewed about how to raise a successful entrepreneur. The close and supportive relationship between parent and child was definitely a factor. Whether an entrepreneur grew up in a family that was big or small, rich or poor, traditional or unconventional, with one working parent or two, the effect seemed the same — an abiding sense that a safety net would be there if it were ever needed.
Lots of close-knit families don’t produce entrepreneurs, of course, but supportive close-knit families tend to be the ideal environment for incubating confident children; and confident children often grow up to be can-do, risk-taking entrepreneurs. What seems to have made the difference was the encouraging, trusting, supportive attitude of their parents.
Among the 70 entrepreneurs I interviewed, I looked carefully at family structure to see if there was one type of family that produced these remarkable entrepreneurs. There wasn’t. Some were from the archetypal nuclear family — Mom, Dad, a couple of kids. Lots had divorced parents or were raised by single moms. Some had moms who stayed at home to raise them, some had moms who worked, and some had moms with intense careers who worked all the time. Some were the oldest of several siblings, some were the middle child, and some were the youngest of their siblings. Others were only children. Some were in blended families with step-siblings and half-siblings. Some grew up with adopted siblings.
Some of the entrepreneurs came from wealthy families, some from middle class families, and some were from families who barely scraped by. Some came from families who’d been in the U.S. for generations, some had parents who were immigrants, and some were born in other countries.
Looking at all these families, I had to conclude that what matters most isn’t how your family is made up, or whether your parents are married, or even whether you have two parents. What matters most is your parents’ attitude.
It’s not just about having your family — whatever your family looks like — love you. It’s about having them believe in you. That they encourage you to follow your passion, trust you to make the right choices, and believe that you could do anything you set your mind to.
That’s one of the biggest lessons that came out of my interviews: All parents love their children, but all these entrepreneurs have parents who also believe in them, support their passions, encourage their dreams, and tell them not to worry about inevitable setbacks.
When a child has a strong, secure home base and is trusted with responsibility, the results can be spectacular.
Margot Machol Bisnow
spent 20 years in government, including as an FTC Commissioner and staff director of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers. For the last 10 years, she has spoken to parent groups about raising creative, confident, resilient children who achieve their dreams.
She served as an Advisor to EQ Generation, an after-school program in New York City that gives children the skills to succeed; on the Advisory Board of the MUSE School in Malibu, that prepares young people to live consciously through passion-based learning; and on the Board of Spark the Journey in Washington DC, that mentors low-income high school students to achieve college and career success. Her new book is Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams – 99 Stories from Families Who Did. Learn more at raisinganentrepreneur.com.