If someone you care about has a birthday coming up soon and you want to make them smile or laugh then this post will help you out.
In it you’ll find 120 of the most witty, positive and funny birthday wishes and messages.
Use one or a few of your favorites in a card to a coworker, in an Instagram post for a beloved friend, in person at a party with your kid (or maybe a nephew or niece) or in a text or group chat as a belated message.
Either way, I hope you’ll find something here to make the person you want to celebrate laugh and have a fun and memorable day.
Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages for Friends
Happy birthday to the one person I know who still remembers what VCR, ICQ and Minidisc are.
You can now officially cross “dying young” off your list of worries. Happy birthday, my dear friend!
You’ve turned the perfect age – old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway (and still kinda get away with it).
Happy birthday to one of the very few people whose birthday I can actually remember without a Facebook reminder. You’re special to me!
Cheers to another year of making everyone around you look bad (and old)!
You’re not getting older, you’re simply becoming a classic, rare and collectible edition. Have a happy birthday!
Hey, this is officially the youngest you’ll ever be again. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, my lovely friend! May any wrinkles of yours always be mistaken for laugh lines.
Happy birthday, old pal. Now, let’s reminisce about when we were young in the 1900s.
They say age only matters when you’re wine or cheese, but who are we kidding at this age? Have a good one, old friend!
For your birthday, I wanted to give you something truly amazing, but then I realized you already have me in your life so here’s a card with a giraffe in a party hat.
I was hoping to get you Taylor Swift tickets for your birthday, but, well… let’s just say here’s a nice pack of socks. Happy and comfy birthday!
Congrats on completing yet another lap around that giant ball of fire hurtling through space. A truly inspiring feat, for sure.
One year older, one year closer to all those sweet, sweet senior citizen discounts.
Happy birthday to someone who is absolutely some kind of unicorn – rare, magical and maybe more than a little bit weird.
Tonight, remember that your age and your glasses of wine should never, ever be counted. Happy birthday and let’s start the party!
My friend, you still look 21 from far enough away if I squint just a little bit. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to a friend who’s old enough to remember making mix tapes and renting VHS movies!
Few things age gracefully: wine, cheese, whiskey and quality antiques. Eh, and that’s about it so… happy birthday!
When you say you’re going to “get lit” on your birthday at your age, we all know that ends at getting all those tiny candles on the cake to catch fire.
Here’s to another year of questionable life choices! Happy birthday, mate!
Don’t worry about getting older – you’re still going to do dumb stuff, just worse and more slowly now.
On your birthday, just remember these words of wisdom: you only look as old as your most recent selfie.
Happy birthday to someone who still isn’t showing their age – and definitely isn’t acting it either to be honest.
Sometimes, these days, as we both get older I can’t work out if life is passing us by or actively trying to run us over. Anyway, happy birthday to my best friend!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Coworkers and Collegues
The best days at the office are when we eat cake in the middle of the afternoon – so thank you for having a birthday!
May your birthday be the one day this year when nobody sends you a meeting invite or an email that makes you shake your head.
Every single day, we celebrate having you around – but today you actually get a card with all our names in it.
Wishing you a birthday as lovely as your average Monday mornings tend to be productive. Just kidding. Have an amazing day!
I personally suggested we all deserved a company holiday to celebrate your greatness, but the higher-ups weren’t so keen on that. So I guess I’ll just say: happy birthday!
The fact that you’ve put up with this office for another year is honestly impressive. Happy birthday!
So many candles, so little cake due to the recent cutbacks! Enjoy your slice and birthday!
Birthdays are a lot like vacations – they don’t come around nearly often enough and then they zip by all too fast.
We’re both getting older, so let’s just agree not to keep track. Happy birthday to you!
We love working with you. And you’re as old as you are kind and brilliant, which is both wonderful and slightly alarming.
I got you a birthday card because a text felt too impersonal, and an actual gift felt like a bit too much work.
Happy National [Your Name] Day! Enjoy every minute of it, especially lunch on and with us at your favorite place.
You’re a genuinely difficult person to shop for, so in the end we just went ahead and got you nothing. Nah, just kidding. Happy birthday!
Is the office air conditioning out again, or is it just the sheer number of candles on your birthday cake?
Congrats on being the colleague with the most minutes in the break room this year! Well done and happy birthday!
Happy birthday to the coworker who keeps us all entertained during those meetings when time seems to stop. Don’t ever change and please keep working here.
Another year of dealing with us – you deserve a raise and your own cake at minimum!
You know you’re really getting older when the new software becomes harder and harder to understand and seems kinda blurry. Happy birthday (and maybe book an appointment at the optometrist)!
Happy birthday! May your day be full of gloriously error-free spreadsheets and reasonably tasty coffee pots.
Happy birthday! You somehow manage to make this grey office a better and more importantly more fun place to spend our days. Now, let’s go celebrate!
Funny Birthday Messages and Wishes for Kids
What do you sing to a cow on its birthday? Happy birthday to moo, obviously!
In banana years, you’d already be bread. Happy birthday to my wonderful niece!
I was going to get you the greatest birthday present ever, but I couldn’t quite fit myself in the gift box.
Happy birthday to my favorite person! Try not to eat so much cake that your tummy hurts. Actually, who am I kidding – just go for it, it’s only once a year.
Happy birthday to one in a melon! You’re the sweetest ever!
Happy birthday! Make sure you smile in all the photos today – your parents are going to show them to your future boyfriend or girlfriend one day in the far future.
What goes up but absolutely never comes down? Your age! Happy birthday!
It’s scientifically proven that people who have the most birthdays live the longest. So keep having them!
Have a GRATE birthday! I do hope that isn’t too CHEESY for you!
Happy birthday! Eat as much cake as you want today. Tomorrow, it’s back to broccoli and mushy peas.
Remember, on your birthday, you’re not only my favorite nephew but also the boss. Enjoy it while it lasts, because tomorrow Mom and Dad are back in charge.
Happy birthday! I’d sing to you, but I don’t want to make you cry.
How do two pickle friends celebrate birthdays? They relish the moment, of course!
Happy birthday and don’t grow up too fast – the adults are mostly out here paying bills and being tired.
Today is all about you, so let’s play this smart and milk it for everything it’s worth. Extra dessert, extra screen time, extra anything you can come up with! And have a happy birthday!
Funny Belated Birthday Wishes
Look, to me you’re so special that one single day just isn’t enough for all my birthday wishes. So happy belated!
Your birthday came and then your birthday went. Now, here are the wishes about how wonderful of a friend you are that I would have sent!
Now that everyone else’s birthday wishes have worn off, here’s a fresh one from me to keep the party going!
Please don’t feel deflated just because my wishes are a little belated. Happy birthday, my awesome friend!
Happy birth week! Yep, that’s totally a thing starting right now.
They say wine improves with age – let’s hope my memory does too for next year. Happy belated and I hope you had a great day!
You forgot my birthday present last year, so consider this my kinder payback!
This year I’m celebrating your entire birth month instead of just one day. So, happy start to your b-month!
You’ll never guess what just popped into my head… happy belated birthday!
You can never celebrate a birthday in just one day – that’s exactly why I waited to send this card until it was way too close to your special day.
They say patience comes with getting older, so thanks for being patient enough to wait for my birthday wishes and foggy memory!
I know I missed your birthday, but honestly, isn’t the real question: is there any cake left?
Well, somebody had to keep the party going after everyone else stopped. You’re welcome, my dear friend. Happy belated birthday!
This card isn’t late at all really. I’m simply stretching your birthday celebration out a little extra to celebrate what a lovely person you truly are!
Sorry I’m late! I was out shopping for the perfect gift. Still looking though, but thoughts I’d pop in to say happy birthday in the meantime.
So, fashionably late is always in style, no matter what the occasion. Happy belated birthday, my old friend!
Happy belated birthday! If birthdays were a race, I definitely came in last this year. But I did on the other hand not get lost on the way, which is an improvement compared to some years.
Don’t think of this card as late – simply consider it really, really early for next year.
Happy belated birthday! I do like to give people a bit of space on their big day. Uh, a few days of space, it would appear.
I’m sorry I missed your special day, Facebook reminders seem to be glitching right now.
I know I’m late, but at least now you get to feel special for two days instead of just one which is always nice.
Funny and Famous Birthday Wishes and Messages
“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.”
– Terry Pratchett
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”
– Charles Schulz
“You know you’ve aged when you read events you’ve lived in a history book.”
– Will Ferrell
“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.”
– Eva Gabor
“I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.”
– Gloria Swanson
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“The older you get the better you get. Unless you are a banana.”
– Betty White
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.”
– George Burns
“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.”
– Sophie Tucker
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn
“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry
Short and Funny Birthday Messages and Quotes
“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
– Francis Bacon
“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on, and everybody rushes to get a piece?”
– Bobby Kelton
“If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”
– Chili Davis
“A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.”
– Henny Youngman
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.”
– Bob Hope
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years experience.”
– Unknown
“You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy birthday.”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Norman Wisdom
“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“Age is a number and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“The first hundred years are the hardest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich
“The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.”
– Oscar Wilde
Want more help and inspiration for a birthday? Then have a look at these uplifting birthday wishes, the funny birthday quotes here and also this one with lots of short and positive birthday quotes and messages.