Noem boasted that her granddaughter, who is almost 2 years old, already owns two guns ― and a pony named Sparkles.
“When my kid was little, I was covering outlets, locking cabinets and cutting grapes in half because they might be a choking hazard,” Klepper said during his Monday night monologue. “Kristi Noem is like, ‘Here’s a shotgun. You’re on watch tonight. Sic semper tyrannis!’”
Klepper said people on the left and right alike should be able to agree on at least one thing when it comes to guns.
“You should not own a gun if you don’t know how to poop in a potty,” he said.
Then he addressed Sparkles directly.
“Sparkles, this will not end well for you. These people are clearly insane,” he said. “Run while you still can ― there is no time for goodbyes. Go, my friend, go!”
After playing another clip of Noem, Klepper’s advice to Sparkles grew even more urgent.
“Seriously, Sparkles, this family is fucking nuts!” he warned. “Get out of there! Trust no one! Sic semper tyrannis!”
He also played a montage of speakers at the NRA event blaming gun violence on everything but guns ― and showed exactly where this line of false logic has taken the nation: