John Wick: Chapter 4 star Rina Sawayama says she was groomed by a teacher at the age of 17. The pop singer, now 33, told BBC News’ In Conversation that she only realized she “was actually groomed” as a teenager when she reached her 30s, because that’s how old her groomer was.
“Why that realization happened in my thirties was because I was finally his age,” Sawayama told BBC’s Megha Mohan.
“There’s a secondary school [near where I live] and to think that it could ever be acceptable for me to look at a 17 year old and say, ‘Oh yeah, that’s fine,’ and try to go for them, I remember distinctly how uncomfortable that made me, but I didn’t put two and two together,” she continued.
“It was through this very intense form of therapy, which I feel so lucky to be able to have access to, that I was able to come to terms with that, and it completely broke my whole world apart,” the Turn Up Charlie actress added.
Sawayama explained that she later “developed shame” about her sexuality after being “slut-shamed” at school when her peers found out about the relationship.
“I was so badly slut-shamed that I developed shame around my sexuality, and completely lost my sense of self. I detached from my skin, I don’t know how to describe it. I felt so afraid of things and had anxiety attacks,” she said.
Her experiences eventually resulted in a single, titled, “Your Age,” which includes the lyrics, “You crossed the line but multiplied the lies, I survived a social suicide, decisions were not mine, you closed me off, a jail personified.”
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“You have no agency in that situation,” Sawayama continued. “To me, 17 is a child. You’re in school, you have no autonomy most of the time, and especially if you’re in a school setting. If a school teacher is coming on to you, that’s an abuse of power.”
“I didn’t realize that until I was his age,” she said.
The actress and singer, who reportedly identifies as “pansexual,” went on to say that she hopes not all of her music will be “autobiographical” in the future.
“I would love a day where I can write a song that’s just about love or sex. I’m getting there,” she said.
You can follow Alana Mastrangelo on Facebook and Twitter at @ARmastrangelo, and on Instagram.