It’s Wednesday.
The previous weekend feels far away now and you’ve got a few more days until the next one.
Maybe you’re a bit tired or unmotivated. Or perhaps overwhelmed by everyday life.
So in today’s post I’d like to share 101 of the most hilarious, motivational and funny Wednesday quotes.
To help you release a bit of pressure and stress. Give you a couple of good laughs and a jolt of energy.
And help carry you through hump day and towards the weekend.
Funny Wednesday Quotes for Work
“Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s Wednesday. Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!”
– Lee Fox Williams
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.”
– Don Herold
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates
“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– John Gotti
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.”
– Author Unknown
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
– Robert Orben
“Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.”
– Unknown
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.”
– Earl Nightingale
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.”
– Zig Ziglar
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
– Homer Simpson
“The reward for good work is more work.”
– Francesca Elisia
“On Wednesday afternoons I could be practically anything.”
– Kit Williams
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.”
– Ogden Nash
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost
Funny Good Morning Wednesday Quotes
“When people refer to ‘Back in the Day,’ it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.”
– Dane Cook
“Keep calm, it’s hump day Wednesday.”
– Unknown
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
– Marty Rubin
“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
– Nanea Hoffman
“A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.”
– Demetri Martin
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
– Terry Pratchett
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook
“If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.”
– George Carlin
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler
“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”
– Jarod Kintz
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
– James Marsden
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
– Tony Smite
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
– Punit Ghadge
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
– Dorothy Parker
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
– David Lynch
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”
– Lewis Black
Hilarious Wednesday Quotes to Get You Through Hump Day
“To some, it’s Hump Day. To us, it’s Wednesday’s getting its ass kicked and Thursday just asking Friday to switch places.”
– Dwayne Johnson
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey
“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.”
– John Wyndham
“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
– Polish Proverb
“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
– Denis Waitley
“Home may be where the heart is but it’s no place to spend Wednesday afternoon.”
– Walker Percy
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
– Will Rogers
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
– Tom Clancy
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”
– Ethel Barrymore
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
– Groucho Marx
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
– Sydney J. Harris
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
– Miles Kington
“It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”
– Navjot Singh Sidhu
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
– Winston Churchill
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
– William James
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
– George Carlin
Short and Funny Wednesday Quotes
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.”
– Unknown
“I can resist anything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
– Charlie McCarthy
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
– Dalai Lama
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.”
– Unknown
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.”
– John Ciardi
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.”
– Michel Tournier
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.”
– Ted Turner
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.”
– Unknown
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.”
– Fats Domino
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”
– Billie Burke
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
– Unknown
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”
– Mark Twain
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
– Groucho Marx
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
– Tommy Cooper
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
– Unknown
“I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Less Funny and More Motivational Wednesday Quotes
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
– Confucius
“Wednesday is a day to help others celebrate life. You and only you are accountable for what you extend and give to others.”
– Byron Pulsifer
“Someday is not a day of the week.”
– Denise Brennan-Nelson
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Wednesday morning came the weather was very fine, And the sun in the heavens brightly did shine, And continued so all the live long day.”
– William Topaz McGonagall
“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
– Dale Carnegie
“Wednesdays will always bring smiles for the second half of the week.”
– Anthony T. Hincks
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson
“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”
– Richard Branson
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
– Wayne Dyer
“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Wednesdays were the best thing about Atlantis. The middle of the week was a traditional holiday there. Everyone stopped work and celebrated the fact that half the week was over.”
– Walter Moers
“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”
– John R. Wooden
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my ax.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
– C.S. Lewis
“Hard work compounds like interest, and the earlier you do it, the more time you have for the benefits to pay off.”
– Sam Altman
“The only way out is through.”
– Carl Jung
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers
“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”
– Conrad Hilton
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
– Henry Ford
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
– Arthur Ashe
Want more inspiration for your Wednesday? Then check out these motivational Wednesday quotes, the short work quotes in this post and also the positive good morning quotes here.