Aziz Ansari offered a wild portrayal of FBI Director Kash Patel in a surprise appearance during the “Saturday Night Live” cold open this weekend. (Watch more in the clip below.)
The “Parks & Recreation” star crashed a faux White House press conference and did a chest bump with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (played by Colin Jost) before getting behind the lectern to crown himself “the most effective FBI director this country’s ever had.”
“And for those of you saying I’m doing a bad job running the FBI, well, what if I told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama Bin Laden,” quipped Ansari’s Patel.
The mock FBI director proceeded to weigh in on the “historic nature” of his appointment.
“I am a trailblazer. I’m the first Indian person to suck at their job,” began the comedian, who got a roar of laughter from the “SNL” crowd.
“Everyone says Indian people are smart, hardworking, incredibly intelligent. I’ve proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites,” he continued before giving the faux Hegseth a high five.
Ansari’s Patel was asked about reports that Donald Trump is “angry” with him, an apparent nod to the president’s alleged disappointment in the FBI director’s beer-guzzling locker room celebration with the U.S. men’s hockey team.
“Hell no! President Trump loves me, everybody loves me, even the correspondents’ dinner shooter said, ‘Kill everyone but Mr. Patel,’” the comedian said. “You get a shoutout like that in a psycho’s manifesto, you must be doing something right.”
As he continued to face questions, the mock FBI director stressed several things he’s “never” done on the job.
“And this FBI director has definitely not stood on top of a couch at the VIP room of the couch at the VIP room of TAO Nightclub and Asian Bistro and shouted, ‘Who wants the nuclear codes? JK! I ain’t got ‘em!’” he declared.