With 77 reviews filed, the Disney Grooming Syndicate’s The Mandalorian and Grogu sits at just 61 percent on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer, which makes it the second-worst reviewed Star Wars movie of the Disney era.
The reviews are not all in, so the numbers can and will change (when I started writing this, the movie sat at 64 percent).
The only Disney-era Star Wars movie to earn worse reviews was the dreadful Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker — you know, the one with a gay kiss in it. The final chapter in the nine-chapter Skywalker saga arrived seven years ago with a 51 percent tomatometer rating. There has not been a Star Wars feature film since.
Even Solo: A Star Wars Movie earned 69 percent. It also flopped at the box office, which is what The Mandalorian and Grogu is predicted to do if the box office projections hold.
You can argue that 61 percent is still a “fresh” rating. Fine, argue away. But when you are delivering a summer blockbuster, especially one that you hope will salvage your beyond-damaged Star Wars brand, you want a “fresh” rating in the nineties. You want critics exclaiming, Star Wars is back, baby! This is the best Star Wars since Empire! I can’t wait to see this movie again!
Instead.
No.
Even some of the so-called “fresh” reviews are not terribly enthusiastic. Here are five examples — and keep in mind, these are listed as “positive” or “fresh” reviews:
One:
The Mandalorian and Grogu has one of the most bare-bones screenplays of any Star Wars film in history. No subtext, no themes, no character arcs, everything from start to finish is just one character telling Mando and Grogu to go to X location to pick up Y MacGuffin, and then rinse and repeat. There’s little to nothing that ties back to the original Disney+ series, bar a few visual references. [emphasis original]
Two:
The plot is non-existent and it really does feel like a fully CGI movie. But when it’s just Mando and Grogu going from A to B it’s such a sweet story.
Beneath all the charm, humour, and crowd-pleasing adventure lies a lingering frustration that the film never quite pushes beyond being just pretty good. Still, it’s easy to sit back, relax, and simply enjoy spending more time in this world.
Four:
By nudging “The Mandalorian” onto the big screen, Disney, the purveyor of the “Star Wars” multiverse, is offering nothing more (or less) than a couple of likable, diverting, semi-forgettable episodes jammed together.
Five:
Inessential and inoffensive, frequently adorable and fun for the whole family, Jon Favreau’s film feels like three good-enough TV episodes smushed together.
If those are the good reviews, can you imagine what the negative reviews say?
And keep in mind that the pressure to give the all-powerful Disney Grooming Syndicate a positive review is massive. The benefits of Disney holding a good opinion of its reviewers are legion: advertising, access, swag, screenings…
Just to be clear, I’m not predicting the movie will flop. I don’t make box office predictions. But I am certainly hoping it will flop because Disney is evil and Disney deserves all the bad things. All of them.