The 126th U.S. Open tees off this Thursday at famed Shinnecock Hills in Southampton, NY. Shinny, as dumb people call it, is probably the greatest U.S. Open course with its challenging layout and illustrious history.
That said, the USGA should’ve taken the event away from Long Island due to the disgraceful and degenerate behavior at the Ryder Cup last year.
Cowards! Cowards, the whole lot of them.
The Europeans, and especially Rory McIlroy, were subjected to vile insults for virtually two days straight. His wife also had a drink thrown at her. Yet, Rory and the Euros still prevailed in what will go down as the sweetest victory in Ryder Cup history. Rory guaranteed the victory two years before as well. This is, of course, old news, but there was no real punishment for this intransigence.
In order to show true humility and penance, Shinnecock should have either forfeited the right to host or the USGA should’ve taken it away from them.
The vile behavior continued at this year’s PGA Championship in Philadelphia. A-hole fans (I blame mostly Italians) continued to heckle Rory, and it was a huge distraction that definitely put him at a disadvantage to the field. On literally every shot on holes 14-18, some a-hole in the gallery would say something out of line. Think about that. How could that be considered fair?
The one cardinal rule in golf is that you must protect the field so that all players have an equal chance to win. That’s why you must report a playing partner if you think they have been cheating. Well, if only one player is dealing with constant hectoring, how is that fair? Yet, nothing was done. Of course, nobody is standing up for Rory. He’s an easy target. White, straight, outspoken is not going to earn you the benefit of the doubt. And with what he and his family went through at the Ryder Cup, he never really made a big deal about it. Interestingly, there was absolutely no heckling or USA chants when Indian/English Aaron Rai was coming down the stretch on 17 and 18 at the PGA. You can ask yourself why that would be. Tiger was also never heckled, and he was a complete ass. Apparently, it’s open season on some people, but others have protection. Rory gets it every hole, and he’s supposed to just suck it up? I don’t think so.
Since the USGA is placing its premier event back in the cauldron of jackass New York fans, and their behavior will almost certainly continue to be at best disrespectful, Rory must use my patented five-point plan to fight back against this obviously unfair disadvantage. You can’t just complain and get these heckling fans kicked out. You look weak and ineffective. You must be proactive. Here’s my 5-point, full-proof plan to make the U.S. open a fair contest for all involved.
1. Rory needs to get 500K in cash out of bank.
2. He needs to go through intermediaries to pay 20 of his Irish friends 25K cash each to go to Shinnecock and walk with him in the gallery
3. He needs to make sure this cash is never traced back to him
4. The plan must be for groups of 3-4 guys to roam the gallery, and if there are fans being out of line, they must be assaulted. Nothing too bad, but you want to make sure these hecklers get their faces smashed in the dirt. At the bare minimum. Yes, some of his buddies will get kicked out, but normal, polite society will appreciate what they’ve done, and the game of golf will be better for it. If you know some smartass comment is going to come with you having to taste dirt, then it’s much less likely to happen. Knowing you would have to eat dirt if you heckled Rory would definitely curb your enthusiasm.
And if you think this is too punitive, let’s take a look at a specific scenario that occurred during the final round of the PGA this May. It’s a hot, long day, and Rory is trying to get something started on the final few holes. A birdie would put some pressure on the leaders. On the 17th, he has a difficult shot out of the high rough, and he doesn’t catch the ball cleanly, and it ends up in the bunker. Immediately, these a-holes start with “USA, USA, USA” and calling him a choker. This is a guy who is nothing but gracious 99% of the time. What kind of sick person would do such a thing? I’ll answer that for you – the type of person who needs their face shoved in the dirt. There really are stupid people who believe being a golf fan is no different than being a football or baseball fan. They think a fan should be able to scream whatever they want at a professional golfer who is five feet away from them. Not sure how you reason with people this dumb, but they should have their vote taken away. And it’s possible that Shinnecock is far enough out on Long Island that it’s too far from the New York low-IQ rabble, but who cares enough to take that chance.
Golf is trying to straddle the line between being a gentleman’s sport while also attracting the Barstool, Dave Portnoy degenerate crowd. Not possible. The only way forward is a return to civility and decency, and if violence has to be used to that end, then so be it.
Scottie Scheffler will likely win the U.S. Open this year, but you can say that about every tournament. If he continues his mediocre play (for him), then there are a few guys who could step up and grab the trophy. Wyndham Clark, Cam Young, Jon Rahm, and Rory, only if he implements my plan (which is unlikely because the tournament starts today).
Dan Redmond can be found on Twitter @danfromdc