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Home»Entertainment»Pete Hegseth Chugs ‘Spider-Man’s New Non-Alcoholic Bitch Beer’
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Pete Hegseth Chugs ‘Spider-Man’s New Non-Alcoholic Bitch Beer’

October 4, 2026No Comments2 Mins Read
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Pete Hegseth Chugs 'Spider-Man's New Non-Alcoholic Bitch Beer'
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In the Oct. 3 cold open on “Saturday Night Live,” Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla play Republican strategists who have their work cut out for them building buzz for their party.

Marcello Hernández comes in first as Marco Rubio, who speaks to constituents in Spanish, admits that Trump did not live up to expectations and his endless war is not making things better.

Mikey Day then shows up as a frozen Mitch McConnell in a wheelchair, only able to give the peace sign and nearly derailing the fourth wall of the sketch when he mistakenly tries to say “Live from New York” too early.

Vice President JD Vance stopped by, played by Jeremy Culhane, and his lack of charisma was mocked when he started his camera test by saying, “Hi, I’m JD Vance,” before getting dismissed.

The sketch’s highlight was Colin Jost returning as Pete Hegseth, who immediately chugs one of Tom Holland’s Bero beers, which he refers to as “Spider-Man’s new non-alcoholic bitch beer.”

The sketch, which parodied his unhinged “State of the Force” address this week, he also urges Republicans to do something shocking: “I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote.”

He also noted that, “I’m putting God back in war and it’s working. Our soldiers are praying a lot more than they used to.”

Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, also dropped by, saying, “Let me cook.”

He also made fun of his real-life strategy to reimburse American voters for a Republican midterm win, saying, “If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000 and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.”

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The episode’s host is Dakota Johnson and the musical guest is Turnstile.

Watch the cold open below.

Beer Bitch Chugs Hegseth NonAlcoholic Pete SpiderMans
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