Analysts are predicting the woke Shazam! Fury of the Gods will bomb this weekend with a pathetic $35 million domestic opening.
The studio bootlickers in the entertainment media are so eager to cover this fact up, so eager to spin it into something positive, the bad news has been buried in this hilarious headline and opening paragraph:
DC’s ‘Shazam! Fury Of The Gods’ Could Strike $85M Worldwide Debut – Box Office Preview
New Line’s COVID-delayed DC movie Shazam! Fury of the Gods will finally hit theaters this weekend in 77 offshore territories and the U.S. with a global outlook between $80M-$85M, $35M of that coming from domestic.
Before we go any further, we should point out that this is only a prediction. Shazam! Fury of the Gods could over-perform. We should also point out that the bootlickers in the entertainment media seek to appease their studio masters by over-predicting how a film will do. It’s a way of writing headlines about a hit movie before it’s even released.
So how bad would a $35 million domestic opening be?
Well…
Back in 2019, when the first Shazam! was released during this same time of year (April 5), it opened to $57 million domestic. It went on to gross $140 million domestic and another $225 million overseas. When all was said and done, Shazam! made $396 million worldwide, which is good but not great.
The good news is that moviegoers seemed to really like the movie. I didn’t, but who am I? When people like your movie, that is indispensable. Nothing powers a movie’s success like audience goodwill. Therefore, as we have seen over the last 15 or so years in the superhero genre, all that goodwill tends to push the sequel to a higher box office number than the original.
Well, if these predictions hold, Shazam! Fury of the Gods is gonna bomb.
The original Shazam! cost $80 to $100 million to produce, Add another $50 to $75 million to promote, and DC made a little money on that sucker. Better still, all of that audience goodwill said a sequel would be a good investment. That goodwill told DC it had a going concern, a well-liked franchise… So why not drop a cool $100 million into part two? Add another $50 to $75 million, and a $400 million worldwide haul is probably the breakeven point.
But now, things are not looking good…
But this is what happens when the Woke Nazis and Censors grab hold of a popular franchise… They woke-rape it into a flop. See: Wars, Star… See: Woman, Wonder… See: Black, Men In… See: Busters, Ghost… See: Quinn, Harley… See: Story, Toy… See: Angels, Charlie… See: Minator, Ter…
Oh, and let’s not forget the Rock’s disaster called Black Adam. Gee, ya think maybe people don’t want Black Lives Matter propaganda in their escapist superhero movies?
And now, if this $35 million prediction holds, we might see: Zam!, Sha…
Yep, Shazam! Fury of the Gods is gay.
Because that’s why we go to superhero movies, right? To watch a superhero—in this case, sidekick Pedro Peña—inform us of his sexual preference for other guys.
Man alive.
No one wants to think about that.
No one.
Looking back at the first movie, now that we know he’s homosexual, we also know Pedro is a heterophobe who turned down an invitation to join his friends at a strip club:
Pedro, played by Jovan Armand and D.J. Cotrona, briefly alluded to his sexuality in a scene from the first film after the kids were teleported to a strip club.
As they left, Pedro remarked, “Not my thing.”
But-but-but if I say a gay movie is not my thing, I’m a bigot.
What are the rules again?
Again, as I have always said, Hollywood should make movies for everyone, including our friends among the Alphabet People. I’ve been saying that for decades. But like our pal Pedro, who is understandably uncomfortable around heterosexuality, most heterosexuals (including the liars who say differently) are uncomfortable around homosexuality. Pedro isn’t a bigot. That’s his wiring. I’m not a bigot. That’s my wiring. The difference is that the Woke Nazis respect what makes Pedro uncomfortable but use our discomfort to justify tossing us in concentration camps.
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