Imposter syndrome is “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.”
Practically speaking, for me this tends to manifest as a feeling of inadequacy when faced with new challenges or opportunities. For others, it can show up as attributing their success to luck, which causes them to feel like a fraud for being so highly respected or sought after (despite how hard they’ve worked to get there).
If you’re familiar with the research on this topic, you’ll already know that imposter syndrome is most prevalent in highly successful women. This is due to “everyday interactions, systemic inequities, and societal biases which create environments that make people feel they don’t belong, especially women and minorities” (Caitlin Bell, psychologist and copywriter).
A finding that is often overlooked, though, is the fact that highly critical and pressurising family dynamics can also “lay the groundwork” for imposter syndrome even before these systemic issues are encountered.
With this in mind, here are a list of ways that women can leverage inner child work to both heal from and overcome imposter syndrome:
1. Heed your inner child’s voice
According to Amma Acheampong (counsellor and psychotherapist), “It’s the younger self that is at the core of your imposter syndrome and reacting in the here and now.”
This awareness is a crucial first step in escaping the influence of the highly critical parental figures that you may have encountered as a child.
2. Validate your experiences
Since the seeds of imposter syndrome are typically established in childhood, an important next step is to “link your inner child’s negative voice to your early experiences thereby validating them” (Amanda Bakare, Cognitive Behaviour Therapist).
Another key step in the validation process, according to Bakare, is “looking at your current limiting beliefs and trying to understand the impact that they have on you.”
This is essential for discovering the root cause of your imposter syndrome so that you can take the next steps necessary to heal from it.
3. Commit to breaking the cycle
Once you’ve validated your experience, it’s time to commit to breaking the negative cycles that you identified.
In line with Ms. Bakare’s advice, this requires you to ask yourself questions like: “What areas do I want to change in terms of how I experience imposter syndrome? Can I change it? What might that change look like?”
4. Draw a distinction between your past and present
Since imposter syndrome is the younger self reacting in the here and now, according to Bakare, an important step to breaking the cycle is making “a distinction between the then and the now.”
That reaction, she says, “is like a faulty alarm.”
This can be achieved by realising that, although your current situation may bear some similarities to your past, they are not exactly the same. In this way, “the work is in finding a way to retune and recalibrate your alarm.”
5. Flip the script
According to Ms. Acheampong, the process of retuning and recalibrating the alarm sounded by your inner child can be as simple as asking questions like: “What do you feel you needed as your younger self?”
In order to answer this question, Bakare suggests rescripting strategies such as visualising yourself as “that child in that room crying because you felt like mummy wouldn’t be proud unless you succeeded, for example. Then, going in as your older self and telling yourself all the things that you know now that can comfort your younger self.”
This can also be achieved in written form: “You can write a letter to your younger self, again as your older self, describing what you’ve been through, how things have maybe turned out better on the other side, and that they’re not as bad as you thought they would be as a child.”
Acheampong adds that some people may find it easier to do this by thinking instead of advice that they’d give the children currently in their life (e.g. a goddaughter, niece or biological children).
“Then, once they’ve thought about what they could say to that child, they can think about how they can extend that advice and compassion to themselves.”
By taking these steps, you can heal from and ultimately overcome the “self-doubt and perfectionist tendencies…linked to imposter syndrome” (Caitlin Bell) so that you can navigate your life with freedom and confidence.
Imposter syndrome is most prevalent in highly successful women, especially those with intersectional identities that further marginalise them.
Coming from a highly critical or pressurising family dynamic can also contribute to the development of imposter syndrome.
With this in mind, women can leverage inner child work to both heal from and overcome it by heeding their inner child’s voice, validating their experiences, committing to breaking the cycle and more, as detailed above.