Sometimes, if you’ve had a rough or plain bad day, then one of the best ways to lift your mood and feel better and lighter again is to watch a funny movie before bedtime.
But if you’re still at work or school and the evening is far away then today’s post can help you out.
In it I want to share 110 of the most funny movie quotes about life, love, happiness and plenty more.
I hope you’ll find something here to make you laugh, release a bit of stress and remind you of more of your favorite lines from your most often watched movies.
Funny Movie Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
“There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.”
– Michael Caine as Nigel Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
“Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”
– Mike Myers as Shrek in Shrek 2 (2004)
“I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.”
– Mark Wahlberg as Dignam in The Departed (2006)
“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”
– Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (2001)
“It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl. Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. Girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun (1988)
“I gotta tell you something. I’m really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don’t take this Michael McDonald DVD that you’ve been playing for two years straight off, I’m going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.”
– Paul Rudd as David in The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)
“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”
– Josh Mostel as Principal Max Anderson in Billy Madison (1995)
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”
– Lloyd Bridges as Steve McCroskey in Airplane! (1980)
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
– Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
“Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”
– Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
“I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. One day, he tells me it’s my fault he saw other women. So, I picked up a knife and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. Yeah, I did a little jail time, but it was worth it.”
– Queen Latifah as Liz Bailey in Living Out Loud (1998)
“I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?”
– Mike Myers as Shrek in Shrek (2001)
“Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.”
– Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda in A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”
– Rip Torn as Patches O’Houlihan in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
“A cosmetologist? That’s unbelievable. That’s impressive. Must be tough to handle the weightlessness.”
– Steve Martin as Navin Johnson in The Jerk (1979)
“As a child, I yearned for the mines.”
– Jack Black as Steve in A Minecraft Movie (2025)
“By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.”
– Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
“I’m in a glass case of emotion!”
– Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
“Don’t point that gun at him. He’s an unpaid intern.”
– Bill Murray as Steve Zissou in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
“Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!”
– Rachel McAdams as Regina George in Mean Girls (2004)
“It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
– Zach Galifianakis as Alan Garner in The Hangover (2009)
“If you are going to come along with us, please refrain from saying things like ‘preach’ or ‘go girl’ or any other colloquialism that you may have looked up in an urban dictionary.”
– Regina Hall as Ryan Pierce in Girls Trip (2017)
“Don’t give me that tone! That sarcastic, contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you’re a man, and I know nothing because I’m a woman.”
– Nathan Lane as Albert in The Birdcage (1996)
“I like your outfit, too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.”
– Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (2001)
“I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can’t do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.”
– Jason Statham as Rick Ford in Spy (2015)
“Look up idiot in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find?” “A picture of me?” “No! The definition of the word idiot, which you f**king are!”
– Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. as Perry and Harry in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
“Huh. I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.”
– Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Short and Hilarious Movie Quotes
“It’s just a flesh wound.”
– John Cleese as The Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“Inconceivable!”
– Wallace Shawn as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987)
“That escalated quickly.”
– Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
“That still only counts as one!”
– John Rhys-Davies as Gimli in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
“It’s pronounced ‘Fronkensteen.’”
– Gene Wilder as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein in Young Frankenstein (1974)
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
– John Cleese as French Soldier in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack in Airplane! (1980)
“Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler.”
– Stephen Root as Milton Waddams in Office Space (1999)
“What is this? A center for ants?”
– Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (2001)
“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”
– Harvey Fierstein as Yao in Mulan (1998)
“He’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die!”
– Elsie Fisher as Agnes in Despicable Me (2010)
“We’re werewolves, not swear-wolves.”
– Rhys Darby as Anton in What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
“When I see five weirdos in togas stabbing a man in the park in full view of a hundred spectators, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun (1988)
“There’s no crying in baseball!”
– Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own (1992)
“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?”
– Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes in Meet the Parents (2000)
“I’m surrounded by idiots.”
– Jeremy Irons as Scar in The Lion King (1994)
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun 33?: The Final Insult (1994)
“Great success!”
– Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat in Borat (2006)
“Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
– Julia Roberts as Vivian in Pretty Woman (1990)
“He slimed me.”
– Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters (1984)
“I am McLovin!”
– Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Fogell in Superbad (2007)
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
– Richard S. Castellano as Clemenza in The Godfather (1972)
“According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
“I fart in your general direction!”
– John Cleese as French Soldier in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Funny Movie Quotes About Life
“My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
– Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump (1994)
“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room!”
– Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove (1964)
“She thinks I’m a fascist? I don’t control the railways or the flow of commerce!”
– Margot Robbie as Barbie in Barbie (2023)
“That rug really tied the room together, did it not?”
– Jeff Bridges as The Dude in The Big Lebowski (1998)
“Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”
– John Cleese as Reg in Life of Brian (1979)
“Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning, and I piss excellence.”
– Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the f**king customers.”
– Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves in Clerks (1994)
“No, I like to rock n’ roll all night and part of every day. I usually have errands… I can only rock from like 1-3.”
– Paul Rudd as Danny in Role Models (2008)
“Right now, the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science, and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.”
– Steve Martin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau in The Pink Panther (2006)
“I don’t want to be rude, but may I have a drink? I had three or four before I got here, but they’re beginning to wear off. And you know how that is.”
– Irene Dunne as Lucy Warriner in The Awful Truth (1937)
“When life gives you lemons, just say ‘f**k the lemons,’ and bail.”
– Paul Rudd as Chuck in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.”
– Goldie Hawn as Elise Elliot in The First Wives Club (1996)
“According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”
– Rosalind Russell as Auntie Mame in Auntie Mame (1958)
“You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!”
– Ben Stiller as Hal L. in Happy Gilmore (1996)
“Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid. And, last but not least, the wonderful crew of McDonald’s for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy.”
– Breckin Meyer as Travis in Clueless (1995)
“My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.”
– Mike Myers as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
– Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump (1994)
Funny Movie Quotes on Love and Happiness
“Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.”
– Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams in The Addams Family (1991)
“She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
“Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.”
– Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)
“You read my diary?”
“At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
– Kristen Wiig and Rebel Wilson as Annie and Brynn in Bridesmaids (2011)
“I’m a man!”
“Well, nobody’s perfect.”
– Jack Lemmon and Joe E. Brown as Jerry and Osgood in Some Like It Hot (1959)
“I’ll have what she’s having.”
– Estelle Reiner as the Woman in the Diner in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
“When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”
– Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
“Babe, look. If this relationship is going to work out between us, I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it. I will text you.”
– Will Arnett as Batman in The Lego Movie (2014)
“I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”
– Melissa McCarthy as Megan in Bridesmaids (2011)
“You are a human affront to all women, and I am a woman.”
– Meg Ryan as Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
“Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.”
– Colin Firth as Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
“Is that your gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
– Mae West as Lady Lou in She Done Him Wrong (1933)
“Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.”
– Meg Ryan as Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
“Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.”
– James Marsden as Kevin in 27 Dresses (2008)
“So, you’re telling me there’s a chance!”
– Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
“Some people are worth melting for.”
– Josh Gad as Olaf in Frozen (2013)
“I can’t believe it. I’m in love. I’m in love with a young, handsome, talented duke.”
– Nicole Kidman as Satine in Moulin Rouge! (2001)
“When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.”
– Billy Crystal as Harry Burns in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
“If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin. That’s how much you mean to me.”
– Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory (2007)
“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”
– Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate (1967)
“I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but… it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn.”
– Billie Lourd as Gigi in Booksmart (2019)
“I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”
– Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
“Snap out of it!”
– Cher as Loretta Castorini in Moonstruck (1987)
“There is no way I’m kissing a frog and eating a bug in the same day.”
– Anika Noni Rose as Princess Tiana in The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Funny Christmas Movie Quotes
“Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self-pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me – I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.”
– Jim Carrey as the Grinch in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
“You sit on a throne of lies.”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)
“Well, I don’t know what to say, except that it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
– Beverly D’Angelo as Audrey Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)
“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”
– Ralph Foody as Johnny in Home Alone (1990)
“Does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?”
– Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard (1988)
“There are children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads. They’re busy building toys and absolutely no one’s dead.”
– Chris Sarandon as Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)
“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
– Jeff Gillen as Santa Claus in A Christmas Story (1983)
“Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn’t sure the extension cord was plugged in?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“Call me elf one more time.”
– Peter Dinklage as Miles Finch in Elf (2003)
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.”
– Devin Ratray as Buzz McCallister in Home Alone (1990)
“It’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”
– Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
“Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.”
– Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard (1988)
Want more laughs to help you release stress? Then check out these hilarious work quotes, the funny quotes on life here and also this one with plenty of funny love quotes.