Saturday. It’s finally here.
A day to sleep in a bit. To slow down. To relax and have fun with family and friends.
And to set you up for a great weekend I’d like to help out with 100 of the most witty, positive and funny Saturday quotes.
I hope you’ll find something here to make you and your loved ones laugh and to make this a happy, recharging and fun day.
Funny Saturday Morning Quotes to Start Your Day Just Right
“Saturday mornings, I’ve learned, are a great opportunity for kids to sneak into your bed, fall back asleep, and kick you in the face.”
– Dan Pearce
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook
“I like my coffee black and my mornings bright.”
– Teri Guillemets
“Sleeping in on a Saturday always feels like a little bit of heaven.”
– Carla Kringer
“On a lazy Saturday morning when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one.”
– Lynn Johnston
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
– Dean Martin
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside – remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
– Charles Bukowski
“I’m not an early bird at all. Ideally, on Saturday morning I’d allow myself a lovely lie-in. 10:45 would be just right.”
– Shilpa Shetty
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost
“Today is Saturday, which means that today I will be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking.”
– Unknown
“Saturday morning, you knew what was cool by what was on ‘Soul Train.’”
– Nick Cannon
“Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?”
– Nitya Prakash
“Your body tells you what it needs, and if you sleep past your alarm on a Saturday morning, it’s probably because you need the sleep.”
– Sophia Bush
“On Saturday morning, I like to get up early and go out – TV is banned!”
– Debra Stephenson
“His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours.”
– Arthur Baer
“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.”
– Phil Dunphy
“I got caught up in 35 years of Saturday nights. Every night was like a party night to me. As a young man, you can do that; it’s OK to be an idiot. But I woke up one day, and I realized that 35 years had gone by.”
– Steve Lukather
“I love Saturday morning cartoons. What do you like to do on a Saturday morning?”
– Wayne Brady
“Most people are in a factory from nine till five. Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles. At the end of the week they’re three short and somebody has a go at them. On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about.”
– Rodney Marsh
“It’s a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.”
– Jimmy Buffett
Funny Saturday Quotes for Work
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’”
– Don Marquis
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
– Drew Carey
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
– Oscar Wilde
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen
“Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.”
– Mike Birbiglia
“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– John Gotti
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.”
– Rita Rudner
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas Edison
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams
Short and Hilarious Saturday Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
“I told myself that I was going to live the rest of my life as if it were Saturday.”
– Chip Gaines
“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”
– Ogden Nash
“I love Saturdays because it’s the only day of the week when you can do absolutely nothing and feel absolutely wonderful about it.”
– Sarah Kelly
“Saturday night is when you want to do what you want to do and not what you have to do.”
– Susan Orlean
“The dog doesn’t know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too.”
– Donna Shalala
“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”
– Bill Watterson
“The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.”
– Chuck Palahniuk
“On the sixth day, God created man, the sort of result you often get when you go in to work on a Saturday.”
– Robert Brault
“Different cocktails for different Saturday nights.”
– Drew Barrymore
“There were many reasons to regard Saturday as the second best day after Friday.”
– R. Phillip Ritter
“I wish that every day was Saturday and every month was October.”
– Charmaine J. Forde
“My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV, and eating.”
– Alan King
“Life is a wretched gray Saturday, but it has to be lived through.”
– Anthony Burgess
“The secret to a great Saturday is low expectations and high snack availability.”
– Sandra Shea
“I learned that the hardest party to pull off successfully is Saturday night dinner.”
– Ina Garten
“Without Saturday, Sunday would just be another day of the week.”
– Anthony T. Hincks
“I love Saturday nights with my best friend and a big bowl of pasta, wanting a good scare, something that will say, ‘Listen, your life is not as bad as this. Your life can be so much worse.’”
– Vera Farmiga
“Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.”
– Charmaine J. Forde
“The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.”
– George Carlin
“One of my most exciting Saturday nights was just me and a bottle of wine and a crochet book.”
– Jessica Pare
“I think Saturday may be Latin for stay in pajamas til noon then eventually motivate yourself to shower and get ready for bed that night.”
– Bart Millard
“When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.”
– Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“You know what I want to do? Wake up one weekend and not have to go anywhere and do nothing.”
– Derek Jeter
“I take my daughter to the San Mateo farmers market every Saturday morning, and despite repeated advice to the contrary, I usually do it on an empty stomach. Bad mistake.”
– J. Kenji Lopez-Alt
“There is nothing more I love more than being in a throw-down on a Saturday night.”
– Donald Cerrone
“Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
“I still do love monsters. And when I was a kid, they were really important to me. I couldn’t wait for Saturday night.”
– Emil Ferris
“Saturday night still does have a distinct personality and effect on most people. People still act differently on a Saturday night for no reason other than it’s Saturday night.”
– Susan Orlean
“Saturday is the only day where ‘I’ll do it later’ is a perfectly acceptable choice.”
– Sandra Shea
Less Funny and More Inspirational Saturday Quotes
“Saturday is the mightiest day of the week. It’s unshakably, overwhelmingly superior. Not only is it a day off of school, the following day is also a day off, like some kind of Super Saiyan bargain sale.”
– Wataru Watari
“I’ve taken Saturdays to be the day I pull back completely. I do things that are more creative, and I’ve actually found that helps me when I get back into work to be more thoughtful.”
– Padmasree Warrior
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
– John Lubbock
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
– Sydney J. Harris
“Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
– Maya Angelou
“It’s not that we spend five days looking forward to just two. It’s that most people do what they enjoy most in those two days. Imagine living a life where every day are your Saturdays and Sundays. Make every day your weekend. Make every day a play-day.”
– James A. Murphy
“There was nothing like a Saturday – unless it was the Saturday leading up to the last week of school and into summer vacation. That of course was all the Saturdays of your life rolled into one big shiny ball.”
– Nora Roberts
“My work is like my vacation, so in a way every day is like Saturday.”
– Ludacris
“Happy Saturday! When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength.”
– Tecumseh
“Dreams can come true, but there is a secret. They’re realized through the magic of persistence, determination, commitment, passion, practice, focus and hard work. They happen a step at a time, manifested over years, not weeks.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“Persistence is a quality you need not only on Saturday but every day of the week! Doing our best to make a difference is how we instill our lives with meaning.”
– Ernie J Zelinski
“Always take some of the play, fun, freedom and wonder of the weekend into your week and your work.”
– Rasheed Ogunlaru
“Saturday is a day for the spa. Relax, indulge, enjoy, and love yourself, too.”
– Ana Monnar
“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.”
– Brian Tracy
“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.”
– Mark Twain
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard
Funny Saturday Quotes for a Less Stressful Week Ahead
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”
– Albert Einstein
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”
– Mark Twain
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
– Sam Ewing
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.”
– Unknown
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
– Dave Barry
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.”
– Zig Ziglar
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.”
– Groucho Marx
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard
Want more laughs and fun sayings? Then have a look at these funny Sunday quotes, the hilarious work quotes here and also this one lots of funny Monday quotes.