The people who hate us at Warner Bros. shelved a completed movie made by people who hate us, and I can’t stop laughing.
Coyote vs. Acme is a completed feature film. This sucker was done. In the can. Filmed. Cut. Scored. Tested. Ready to roll. And…
Rather than release it, Warner Bros. chose to shelve it forever and enjoy a $30 million tax deduction.
Don’t you just love it when people who hate us do terrible things to people who hate us, especially a China-humper like John Cena?
Yes, a bunch of people who hate us put years and years of work into Coyote vs. Acme, not to mention all their talent, hopes, and dreams. And what did the people who hate us who run Warner Bros. do? Take those hopes and dreams and rip them to shreds.
You see, after Warner Bros. takes that tax write-off, it can never-ever-ever release the movie or any part of the movie. If the studio does that, it will not only lose the write-off but also face mammoth fines and the possibility of tax fraud charges. Warner Bros. did the same last year with a completed Batgirl movie and a completed Scooby Doo movie.
Come on, this is no loss. You know they made the Roadrunner gay or something…. Good riddance.
Now, Coyote vs. Acme wasn’t all live-action. Like 1988’s wonderful Who Framed Roger Rabbit (RIP The Mighty Bob Hoskins), it was a mix of live-action and animation. John Cena played the live-action role of ACME’s CEO (who is probably gay). Will Forte played a live-action role as Wile E. Coyote’s attorney (he was probably gay too).
But.
All is not lost.
If you’re still interested in seeing a very funny live-action Wile E. Coyote movie where no one is gay, allow me to introduce you to The Villain (1979).
The Villain is one of the most under-appreciated movies of the last 50 years, a hilarious Western comedy ably directed by legendary stuntman Hal Needham (Smokey and the Bandit) that stars Kirk Douglas, Ann-Margret, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The plot is as simple as a cartoon… Sex-starved Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) is escorted West by the dim-witted Handsome Stranger (Schwarzenegger) while Cactus Jack Slade (Douglas) follows along, determined to “blow his head off, steal the money, and ravish the girl.”
To accomplish this, Cactus Jack sets up one doomed-to-fail trap after another — the kind of traps anyone who’s seen a Roadrunner cartoon will recognize. You will also recognize the results. The Villain is silly, hilarious, and even more enjoyable today because it sticks a finger squarely in the eye of America’s politically correct Wokesters.
Ann-Margret is all heaving cleavage and constantly throws herself at Handsome Stranger. Cactus Jack makes no secret of his determination to “ravish” Ann-Margret against her will. Best of all, Mel Tillis shows up to make fun of his handicap (that famous stutter), and Paul Lynde plays an Indian named Nervous Elk.
Needham executes the physical humor beautifully. Douglas never acts like he’s beneath the material. Ann-Margret is just as committed and smoking hot. Schwarzenegger is excellent as the clueless, sexless Dudley-Do Right.
Watching The Villain on HBO was fun in 1979. Watching The Villain in today’s stifling climate of the left’s humorless, sexless production code is a subversive delight.
John Nolte’s debut novel Borrowed Time (Bombardier Books) is available today. You can read an exclusive excerpt here and a review of the novel here.