Veep and Silicon Valley star Zach Woods is apparently not a big fan of Democrat Senate leader Chuck Schumer, who the actor is calling a “rat fuck.”
Woods ripped into the New York Democrat in no uncertain terms with a stream of consciousness rant tearing Schumer apart in a dozen different — and hilarious — ways.
“During these divisive times it’s more important than ever to hold fast to those universal truths that we can still all agree on, such as, Chuck Schumer is literally ass,” the actor said as he kicked off his Instagram video on Monday.
“One time I went on vacation and I left cottage cheese in the refrigerator and there was a power outage, and when I came home, I opened the fridge and the smell was so rotten and so dairy,” he continued. “And I threw out the cottage cheese but no matter what I did, the dairy smell lingered and it would not go away. And that smell is Chuck Schumer. That fetid, rotten, unbanishable dairy stink.”
“That is Chuck Schumer if that smell could also march in parades with war criminals, and that is why I call him Chuck E. Cheese,” Woods said.
“And also, because he’s a rat fuck who presides over a hall of robots with empty, dead eyes who repeat the same pointless routines ad nauseum and wouldn’t change even if children’s lives depended on it—which they often do,” he exclaimed.
“Chuck Schumer looks like he’s Buddy Holly had somehow survived that plane crash and then spent the next 60 years making people wish he hadn’t,” he added.
“I don’t think that’s nice,” he said. “But people are saying it. People are also saying the fact that he gave birth to Amy Schumer is reason enough to haul him in front of The Hague for crimes against humanity. Again, not nice to Amy Schumer.”
“You know, he’s like a defective animal manufactured in Satan’s personal Build-A-Bear workshop,” he said. “There’s actually a Lord of the Rings character based on Chuck Schumer and it’s this guy,” he said adding a photo of King Théoden of Rohan who was poisoned by the evil Saruman and who was decaying and wasting away.
“No, I’m just kidding, that guy has more moral courage in one of his barnacles than Chuck Schumer has in his entire body,” he averred.
“Now, you might say, ‘Zach, why are you doing this, the Internet doesn’t need more poison. Why are you being a bully??’” He said in conclusion. “Well, like all bullies, I’m doing it because I’m afraid and sad. I don’t actually want anything bad to happen too Chuck Schumer, but I do want Chuck Schumer to stop doing bad stuff to everyone else.”
“Please, just resign.”
Woods is giving voice to a growing distrust of Schumer that has been brewing among Democrats, and more especially among the far-left base of the party, fed up with Schumer’s support of Israel.
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