Courtney Love opened up about a serious health battle she kept private, saying she was hospitalized repeatedly and “almost died” in 2019, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
The 62-year-old rocker said she lost all of her hair and dropped to around 100 pounds.
Love reflected on the frightening period in an Instagram video shared Friday while updating fans on her long-awaited new music.
“I went to England in 2019 and when I went there, you know, my body just exploded,” she said. “It just exploded, and I was in hospitals a lot. I almost died.”
The front woman continued, “I lost all my hair. I was about 100 pounds, and they told me I was going to die, and I didn’t believe them.”
Love did not reveal the specific illness or medical condition that left her hospitalized, but said she eventually managed to recover from the ordeal.
Love explained that her reaction to the grim prognosis was connected to a mindset she said she has carried since childhood.
“I used to like, pattern-interrupt the adults, and they’d tell me ‘red.’ They’d say ‘red was blue,’ and then I’d see blue, but blue was blue,” she recalled.
“So now that I gaslight myself that maybe, maybe they were right and red was blue, and then I would see purple, and my head would explode,” Love continued. “Like f—— cope with that s—, right? I think some of you can relate to that.”
She went on to explain that she never completely lost faith in her own perception of reality.
“And then, anyway, I never really lost my ability to see that f—— that ‘red was red,’ despite them telling me that ‘red was blue,'” she said. “And so when they said you’re gonna die, I just didn’t believe them.”
Despite the severity of the health crisis, Love said she now doing better.
“And somehow, I got better,” she said. “I’m healthy, which is amazing.”
The singer also made clear that she deliberately chose not to discuss her illness publicly at the time.
“I just wasn’t public about being sick. I don’t want to be public about being sick. You know, I’m fine now,” she said.
“I’m just figuring how to roll things out,” she explained. “Things are great right now.”
She insisted, “I will be back, I wasn’t public about being sick. I don’t want to be public about being sick. You know, I’m fine now.”
The health battle also became intertwined with Love’s music, with the rocker revealing that she worked on her upcoming record during the darkest period.
In the caption accompanying her video, Love wrote, “When I made it, I believed this was my last record so I made the record I always wanted to make.”
She explained, “I was in the hospital mostly but when I wasn’t all I did was write & record it. I want to tour more than anything. & I want to sing.”
Love added, “I’m not going to tell people red is blue anymore. Thank you for giving me the grace I need to prepare how to enter the world again.”