Interns aren’t always annoying.
They typically are, what with their juvenile squabbles about college life, ambitions of taking our jobs and tweets thirsting after political candidates. But occasionally, you give interns a chance to do something useful, and they might actually come through.
That’s what happened last night at Jefferson Field in the heart of Washington, D.C., when the Defending Champion Daily Caller Expanded Universe Softball Team took the field for their fourth game of the season against the RAND Corporation.
The matchup was pivotal to playoff positioning, with RAND sitting at 1-1 in the Whig division and the Callers at 2-1, both with losses to the 3-0 Center for American Progress. The Callers were without a few lineup pieces, so they went to the proverbial bullpen and brought several interns out to play.
The game began as a slog, with neither team pulling ahead by more than a run or two for the entirety of the first six innings. A slog would naturally favor the types of swamp creatures that work at the military industrial complex superstore known as the RAND Corporation, and the think-tankers took an 8-7 lead into the 7th inning despite some quality outfield defense from DCNF Editor Graham Dudley and Video Goon Noah Pincus to keep things close.
Things got worse for the Caller before they got better. With two outs in the top of the seventh, some policy analyst who probably helped bomb that Syrian airfield back in 2017 added another 3-run nuke to his resume, to push the RAND lead to 12-7. Things seemed to be unraveling for the Callers, with the bottom of the order coming up in the bottom of the 7th and the offense stalling. (RELATED: Daily Caller Runs Roughshod Over DCNF In Annual Company Football Game)
But the Journalists Who Love America would pull off a Miracle-esque upset by scoring six in the frame to take a 13-12 victory and improve to 3-1 on the season. Intern Matthew secured the walk-off line drive past the left-fielder to seal the game, his last of several quality place appearances. Intern Ireland, who was overheard previously saying she “can’t play softball because I’m a lefty” kept the rally going with one of her three hits on the day, and Intern Jack tacked on a couple hits too. DCNF Defense Reporter Micaela Burrow laid down a critical sacrifice hit in the inning in her softball debut as well.
The Callers will be back in action soon against the American Enterprise Institute, with a chance to secure their 4th win of the season and get an early clinch on a playoff spot.