The desperate Disney Grooming Syndicate has just greenlit a new Skywalker trilogy for its doornail-dead Star Wars brand.
Prepare yourselves for Episode X, Episode XI, and Episode XII…
This, despite the fact that absolutely no one is interested in the further adventures of the bland, boring, sexless, charisma-free Mary Sue known as Rey Palpatine, er, Rey Skywalker.
“Jon Watts, the director behind a trio of Tom Holland Spider-Man movies, is now attached to direct the first installment of the Simon Kinberg-penned trilogy,” reports the far-left Hollywood Reporter. “Kinberg has been working on writing a mystery trilogy since late 2024. The project is intended to act as the next chapter in what is referred to as the Skywalker Saga, the stories featuring the multi-generations of the Luke Skywalker family.”
“Rey Skywalker, the Jedi played by Daisy Ridley in last trilogy released from 2015 and 2019, would appear in some capacity in the new trilogy.” Oh, goodie! said no one.
One thread of good news here is director Jon Watts, who did deliver those three successful Spider-Man movies.
The writer, Simon Kinberg, on the other hand, has written a number of blockbusters, including: This Means War (2012); Fantastic Four (2014); X-Men: Apocalypse (2016); Dark Phoenix (2019); The 355 (2022)… all of them lousy except for X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014).
So why is Disney returning to the Skywalker well…?
My guess is that the box office failure that was this summer’s The Mandalorian and Grogu has Disney freaked the freak out. Between production and promotion costs, the movie easily cost around $250 million. Then it died with a $346 million global take, which, for a Star Wars movie, is the end of the world.
There also doesn’t seem to be much excitement about next May’s Star Wars: Starfighter which stars Ryan Gosling. It has a reported production budget of $245 million. Add at least another $100 million for promotion. That means break-even stands at around $700 million. We’ll see.
My guess is that this new Skywalker trilogy is an act of sheer panic and the belief that the only way to salvage Star Wars is to go back to the Skywalker well in the same way Disney was forced to bring back the original Avengers to salvage the flailing Marvel brand. This December’s Avengers: Doomsday is going to be a monster hit, no question, but Disney was forced to drop the DEI nonsense and bring back Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, etc.
So, time to bring back Skywalker, right?
Don’t be surprised if Disney finds a way to bring back Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill from the dead, as well.
Robert Downey Jr. is reportedly set to make $100 million for his return to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Dr. Doom for only two movies: Avengers: Doomsday and Avengers: Secret Wars. Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans will reportedly earn about $40 million each.
Do you really think Ford and Hamill can turn down that kind of payday?