Rachel Zegler is Exhibit A in why I’m hoping artificial intelligence (A.I.) takes over Hollywood.
Rachel Zegler personifies everything wrong with the modern-day entertainment business. Who is she? She’s a nobody. She starred in one movie, West Side Story (2021), a notorious flop, and now she’s running around like she’s the Harriet Tubman of Hollywood, shooting off her smug, self-satisfied mouth about how she — a marginally intelligent, uni-browed oompa loompa — is going to “correct” the classic fairy tale Snow White.
And let’s not forget that she didn’t win the starring role in the Disney Grooming Syndicate’s live-action Snow White remake because she’s coming off a big hit or earned some kind of fan base. She has no fan base. She starred in one flop. She has only 226,000 Twitter/X followers. The truth is this: Zegler is Hispanic and got the Snow White gig through affirmative action. Merit had nothing to do with it.
Overall, this Snow White remake is so poorly conceived — and I can hardly believe this — Gal Gadot plays the evil queen jealous of Snow White’s beauty. Yes, we’re supposed to suspend enough disbelief to buy into the idea that this woman is jealous of this oompa loompa’s beauty.
Oh, and then instead of Snow White caring for seven dwarfs, thanks to Peter Dinklage’s tiny tantrum, seven midgets lost a good-paying feature film job to seven bisexual baristas.
Yes, Disney is so broken, so obsessed with identity politics and sexual fetishes, the studio hired someone who hates Snow White to play Snow White. You see, according to Hollywood Bigshot Rachel Zegler, Prince Charming is a stalker, and Snow White is an idiot for waiting around for a man to save her. Why she’s even an idiot for wanting a man. Only MAGAtards want true love in the age of Duracell, donchaknow.
And this is why I support and welcome AI.
Why not?
Could AI screw up Snow White any more than the human idiots who conceived it?
Could AI conceive of an actress as unlikable, full of herself, and lacking in charisma as Rachel Zegler?
At least through AI, we would get some kind of a reboot, a second chance with a whole new mechanism to conceive stories, write screenplays, and perform them. Except for a few exceptions (Denzel, Keanu), it can’t get any worse than this current bunch.
Far-left Variety published a story this week about how freaked out everyone is by AI. Okay, but I have questions…
The WGA wants its members to be able to use AI tools but is asking for assurances that using those tools won’t count against them in determining credit and pay. The AMPTP has offered to spell out explicitly that a “writer” must be a human, but also says further discussion is needed in the area.
Why? Why must the writer be human? If AI delivers a superior screenplay, shouldn’t the audience know the truth? Hollywood produces hundreds of TV shows a year that no one watches because they suck. Hell, I don’t watch any of them. Suppose I were a studio facing the end of the left-wing affirmative action that is cable TV and entering a world where only merit (people choose to pay directly for your product) will drive income. In that case, I’d invest heavily in advancing AI screenwriting capabilities.
More…
Joe Russo, co-director of Marvel movies including “Avengers: Endgame” and “Avengers: Infinity War,” has predicted that generative AI may be able to create feature-length movies within two years — and that the technology could put you, the viewer, into an AI-generated movie.
“At some point, perhaps, you could tell a video-streaming service, ‘Hey, I want a movie starring my photoreal avatar and Marilyn Monroe’s photo-real avatar,’” Russo said in an April interview with Collider. “It renders a very competent story with dialogue that mimics your voice. … And suddenly now you have a rom-com starring you that’s 90 minutes long. So you can curate your story specifically to you.”
What’s wrong with that? I’ll tell you… These losers are worried everyday people will conceive better stories and choose those over their garbage. This advancement would also remove Hollywoodists and their obnoxious politics from the equation.
Still more:
“AI can create a convincing simulation of a human actor, and the tech is improving at an alarming rate,” says [Justine] Bateman, the former “Family Ties” star who has a degree in computer science and digital media management from UCLA. In a few short years, she asks, why would anyone need to pay real actors? “I stress that this is an existential threat,” continues Bateman[.]”
But what if the public likes AI actors and actresses more than Hollywood’s current crop of hideously unlikable Rachel Zeglers, Seth Rogens, Alec Badwins, and Josh Gads?
Imagine re-entering a world where movie stars have something called … class. Imagine if all of our “stars” were Denzel Washington and Sandra Bullock, and they never aged? It would change everything, and maybe these streaming services, which the studios will soon have to count on to make most of their money, would earn billions instead of losing billions.
Keep in mind that right now, the studios are hostage to a fascist left-wing talent base that demands stupid things like banning the casting of dwarfs from playing dwarfs and that Snow White become a bisexual girlboss or whatever nightmare we’re in for. I bet some of these studios would like nothing more than to have AI generate universally appealing movies and TV shows everyone loved and was happy to pay for.
Sure, I’d still want true artists in the vein of Martin Scorsese, Spike Lee, and Oliver Stone out there challenging us, but only true artists, not affirmative-action oompa loompas.
No, I welcome AI… Things sure as hell can’t get any worse.