Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday was stunned by a New York Times report about how President Donald Trump’s inner circle met in the Situation Room last year to discuss files related to late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, who was once friends with Trump.
“Now, the Situation Room, historically, is used for wars and military strikes,” Kimmel said. “This time they used it to try to defuse a naughty birthday card their boss made for a pedophile friend of his.”
The Wall Street Journal at the time was preparing a story about how Trump sent Epstein a message drawn inside the silhouetted outline of a naked woman, with his signature in the place of pubic hair.
Trump denied sending the card and sued the newspaper over the story.
But that wasn’t the only topic under discussion as they met ― without Trump ― to review Epstein-related material.
“His inner circle was all there to have what they described as a surreal meeting detailing allegations that Trump had an aggressive nipple fetish,” he said. “At one point, the vice president, JD Vance, said he thought the president would be OK with releasing the nipple-related documents, arguing that he had been accused of worse.”
Kimmel laughed, as did his audience, and he had to take a second.
“Please calm down,” he said, then summed up Vance’s logic: “A nipple won’t make a ripple with this guy.”
Kimmel wondered what would’ve happened if this broke during Trump’s previous term.
“Imagine Mike Pence having to deal with nipple-related emails,” Kimmel said. “He’d be in a cold shower for two weeks. Mother would have to do an exorcism on it.”
But Vance is VP now, and he reportedly had a very different view of the situation.
“JD Vance argued that all the files should be released as soon as possible,” Kimmel said, then suggested the vice president may have had his own reason to urge the release of those files. “As soon as they are, he’s gonna be marching along to ‘Hail to the Chief.’ He wants those out there.”
See more in his Wednesday night monologue: