The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s live-action version of Moana is getting hammered equally by critics and box office projections.
Disney spent a reported $250 million on this sucker, which doesn’t include at least another $100 million for promotion. The result…?
Predictions for its opening weekend sit at around $40 million, which is almost Supergirl-bad. Some have it a little higher, but not high enough to justify its cost.
For context, Moana 2 (2024) debuted to $140 million.
Over at Rotten Tomatoes, even the Disney sycophants we call critics were unable to even pretend they enjoyed this potential disaster. With 80 reviews filed and the movie hitting theaters tomorrow, Moana sits at a pathetic 36 percent rotten.
Look at this dreadful trailer:
Why would Dwayne Johnson allow himself to be costumed like a transvestite refugee from a 1980’s heavy metal band?
Disney is so creatively broken it’s almost impossible to believe. Sure, Toy Story 5 is a huge hit, but it’s Toy Story number five.
Who in the world was asking for a live-action version of an animated movie that came out just ten years ago? Good heavens, the sequel, Moana 2, was in theaters less than two years ago.
It’s ridiculous.
With a $350 million price tag, this sucker will have to clear $600 to $750 million worldwide just to break even. Disney has destroyed Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Marvel, so in an obvious act of desperation, someone said, “Hey, we got nothing else, so let’s remake a movie we made ten years ago, but use real actors, a ton of shitty CGI, call it ‘live-action,’ and dress Dwayne Johnson up to look like an aging drag queen.”
My guess is the degenerate groomers at Disney mostly liked the idea of having Dwayne Johnson running around in a skirt in front of little kids. That’s what sold it, I’ll bet. Pervs.
Another massive Disney bomb is good for America. Anything bad that happens to Disney is a blessing.
Why do these things cost a quarter of a billion dollars? Look at this…
Godzilla Minus One (2023) cost $10 million and looked no different than every $250 million Hollywood production. In many ways, it looked better.
Where does all that money go?
Whatever.
As long as it flops, then, like all normal and decent people, I’ll be happy.