Toward the tail-end of his monologue Thursday night on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” the host received a very special delivery from UPS: a giant horse, as well as a baby horse.
“I didn’t order a horse!” exclaimed Kimmel to the UPS delivery guy. “I didn’t order either of those!”
The UPS man, accompanied by Guillermo, proceeded to drag the baby horse onstage when, all of a sudden, the horse split in half to reveal none other than Kimmel’s long-time nemesis, Matt Damon.
Damon, who plays the lead character of Odysseus in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming film “The Odyssey,” proceeded to mock his rival.
“The horse is here and there’s no takebacks, bitch! I did it! I am here, baby!” offered Damon. “I have traveled far and wide, through waves and war, to save this audience from mediocrity.”
“What is this? This is trespassing! This is another crime you’ve committed here!” Kimmel replied.
“Your face is a crime,” shot back Damon.
When Kimmel asked him how long he’d been hiding in that horse, Damon replied, “Did the Knicks win?”
“What are you doing here?” Kimmel queried.
“What does it look like, dumbass? I’m on your show, I’m promoting a new movie, it’s coming out July 17,” Damon said. “It is called ‘The Odyssey.’ It’s based on a book, so you probably don’t know about it.”
Kimmel continued: “Did you do this movie specifically so you could sneak into this room in a Trojan Horse? That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. What a loser you are.”
Not to be outdone, Damon responded, “Nope. I did this movie so I could say, that horse is a Trojan, which is something your dad should have used on his little wiener instead of having you.”