By now, we are all well aware of the absolute, unmitigated s**t show that is the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.
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The radioactive lookin’ algae!
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The emergency hydrogen peroxide treatments!
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The two-tone color!
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Just a complete and total (gross) mess.
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Naturally, the president had thoughts about it all on Truth Social.
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His theory? It was a hit job by vandals.
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Specifically, he claimed people had “some form of knife or blade” and made a 250-foot-long gash. He also claimed “corrosive and destructive” chemicals were poured into the pool.
In a follow-up post, he let us know he inspected it himself, saying, “I just inspected it, and could only say to myself, and those gathered around me, WOW, who would do such a thing? SICK, DERANGED PEOPLE!”
He then capped it off by threatening a casual 10-year prison sentence “for the destruction.”
But forget the 10-year prison sentences, because the internet has discovered the guy who was actually hired to fix the pool in the first place.
TONY DEJAK / ASSOCIATED PRESS
According to the New York Times, a $1.7 million no bid contract was given to Greenwater Services to install a water-purification system. That company, Greenwater Services (yes GREENWATER Services) is owned by J.J. Cafaro, a Trump donor and Mar-a-Lago neighbor.
TONY DEJAK / ASSOCIATED PRESS
This is him, in case you haven’t picked up on it.
TONY DEJAK / ASSOCIATED PRESS
Oh, and the Times also casually mentioned that back in 2001, Cafaro pleaded guilty to bribing former Democratic Representative James A. Traficant Jr.
People online have dug up a photo of the poolman dressed as some sort of cartoon villain, and the reactions have been pretty hilarious. You can see the picture here, but in my opinion, if you’ve seen the picture I keep on posting, you’ll probably get the same vibe (LOL).
TONY DEJAK / ASSOCIATED PRESS
Here’s what people are saying about it:
“How much clearer does the criminal enterprise have to be? We’re looking at comic book level characters at this point.”
“We are at this level of capitalism now where the villains look like the nipple ring guy from Mad Max.”
“Hello, Central Casting? This guy you sent over for the incompetent no-bid pool guy… just too on-the-nose.”
“This dude is incredible. Need a six part Netflix series on him.”
“Pretty sure he was also the Undertaker’s manager in the WWE.”
“disney villains are less cartoonish.”
“The writers of the simulation need to tone it down a little.”
“Sometimes reality beats the best attempts at creating cruel AI memes.”
And lastly, “I wouldn’t even buy a used car from this guy . . .”
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