How To Handle Christmas Dos, Weddings And Work Drinks

The first invitation usually lands in late October. A work Christmas do, a friend’s fortieth, a wedding with a free bar. If you’ve recently stopped drinking or cut right back, that little calendar notification can bring a jolt of dread out of all proportion to the event itself.

You’re not imagining the pressure. Celebrations are where drinking is most expected, most visible and most commented on. The good news is that the awkward part is usually the first ten minutes, and almost all of it can be planned for.

Decide Before You Walk In

The NHS’s advice on cutting down starts with one deceptively simple instruction: make a plan. Decide your limit before you start, rather than negotiating with yourself at the bar. If your limit is zero, the same logic applies. Decide what you’ll drink instead, how long you’ll stay and how you’re getting home, all before you’ve put your coat on.

That last point matters more than it sounds. Driving gives you a built-in reason that nobody argues with. A pre-booked taxi at 10.30pm gives you an exit that doesn’t require explaining.

Timing helps too. Arriving early, while the room is still quiet and people are sober enough to have a proper conversation, is often the best part of any party. By the time the speeches are slurring and the dance floor fills up, nobody will notice you’ve slipped out, and you’ll have had the version of the evening worth having.

Have An Answer Ready

Someone will ask. Usually it’s friendly curiosity, occasionally it’s a nudge, and once in a while it’s a full-on campaign from the person who wants everyone to have one more. A short, boring answer works better than a long, honest one:

• “I’m driving.”
• “I’m on a health kick.”
• “I’ve got an early start.”
• “Not tonight, thanks.”

You don’t owe anyone your reasons. The less you explain, the less there is to debate. Most people lose interest within seconds, and the ones who don’t are telling you something about themselves, not you.

Get A Drink In Your Hand Early

An empty hand invites offers. A glass of something, almost anything, ends most of them before they start. Alcohol-free beer, a soft drink with lime, sparkling water in a wine glass: nobody at a busy party is checking.

If you’re cutting down rather than stopping, the NHS suggests eating before you drink, alternating alcoholic drinks with soft drinks or water, choosing smaller measures and lower-strength options, and building in several alcohol-free days each week. Its guidance is aimed at people regularly drinking more than 14 units a week, which it describes as roughly six pints of average-strength beer or six medium glasses of wine. Party season makes it very easy to blow past that without noticing.

Tell Someone, And Bring Backup

Another NHS tip is to let others know. Telling a friend, partner or colleague you’re not drinking turns one person in the room into an ally. They’ll steer the conversation, swap your glass and notice if you look like you want to leave.

For people further into it (early recovery, or the first big family event since treatment) the backup sometimes needs to be more deliberate. Some arrive with a sponsor’s number ready to call from the car park; others arrange sober companions to come along to a wedding or travel with them on a work trip, so there’s someone beside them whose whole job is that evening going well. It can sound excessive until you’ve been the only sober person at an open bar for five hours.