The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s latest woke Marvel entry, The Marvels, has the lowest presale tickets in — LOL — years.
Oh, joy of joys, this $275 million sucker is looking like yet another flopperoo for America’s favorite woketards.
What kind of lunatic spends $275 million on a movie starring … Brie Larson? Oh, yeah, that font of charisma Brie Larson; that volcano of sex Brie Larson; that hurricane of personality and charm Brie Larson…
And then — forgive me; I’m trying not to ROFLMFAO — this same lunatic teams that barrel of laughs Brie Larson with that little mouthy chick from Ms. Marvel, a Disney+ show no one liked. Two Hundred and Seventy-Five Million Dollars on diversity casting and affirmative action…
Here’s the report:
According to box office insider Luiz Fernando, The Marvels’ pre-sale tickets have been the weakest for any MCU film in the post-Covid era, suggesting a potential lack of interest from general audiences in this new installment.
This would equate to The Marvels having lower presales than any MCU film since, at the latest, 2019’s Spider-Man: Far From Home. This may come as a surprise as 2021’s Eternals was a box office disappointment by Marvel standards, drawing in only $71.3 million opening weekend.
It gets better:
The Marvels is currently projected to earn between $50 million – $75 million domestically over its opening weekend after Captain Marvel opened to $153.4 million over four years ago, the 11th-best opening in MCU history.
According to Box Office Pro, as we get closer to opening weekend, tracking for The Marvels is dropping. As of now, it’s projected to flop with a $45 million opening or a $64 million opening. As far as its total domestic take, The Marvels is projected to flop with either a $109 million or $169 million TOTAL haul. Best case, The Marvels is projected to earn less than the $219 million Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantunobodycares earned — and that was a disaster.
It gets better still…
“Some speculate [The Marvels] could become the lowest-grossing MCU entry ever, a status currently held by 2008’s The Incredible Hulk with $134.8M.”
Can you imagine…? The lowest-grossing Marvel movie ever…!? Why that would be like Christmas, the Fourth of July, and a Sunday with nothing to do but watch movies and eat cookies all at once.
Make it happen, America!
In the immortal words of Rob Schneider: You can do it!
A couple weeks after the Disney Grooming Syndicate’s The Marvels hopefully tanks, the Disney Grooming Syndicate will release its latest animation feature, something called We Wish To Have Sex With Your Kids. Or maybe it’s just called Wish. Either way, maybe if we all hold hands, close our eyes, and hope real hard, Wish will be another bomb.
Dare to dream, my fellow normal people. Dare to dream.
Disney stock is down 23 percent in one year. When that stock is in the dirt, only then will my work be done.
John Nolte’s debut novel Borrowed Time (Bombardier Books) is available today. You can read an exclusive excerpt here, and a review of the novel here.