As of July 2024, there were 5.17 billion social media users globally, or 63.7% of the total population. The average Instagram post received 513.37 likes, 15.66 comments, and 19.79 saves in 2024. Media like Instagram give people of all ages expectations of what a relationship should be, which tend to be unrealistic. Social media influencers, in particular, are often in relationships that are not as perfect as they will have their followers believe. We explore how social media can make dating a shallow and unpleasant experience.
Ghosting
Ghosting is an easy way out on social media. You give no explanation for why you’ve stopped talking to someone and pretend that nothing happened and the person was never in your life. It remains as prevalent as ever in modern-day dating culture. A 2023 survey found that a quarter of all people had been ghosted at least once, and around half of those who did the ghosting wanted to avoid confrontation. Interestingly, this tendency is moving to the job market: in 2024, 93% of Gen Z admit to having ghosted an interview, and 87% have not shown up for their first day of work. They do it to avoid conflict, just like on dating sites.
Pick-Me Guys And Girls
Pick me girls and guys pretend to be different from other people, hoping this will make them seem more desirable, and it often does. Once you get to know them, though, you find that deep down, they are primarily concerned with attention, and social media are an obvious outlet for this need. If you’re in a relationship with one, you may find everyone on the medium knows about it, even in detail.
Jealousy
A startling 82% of Americans admit to having been jealous of a partner. Online conversations are a significant concern, with 28% of respondents saying they caused jealousy. Social media contribute to jealousy in relationships. Most users are concerned with likes, and you can usually see who is liking someone else’s posts or pictures. Almost everyone who has been in a relationship has wondered why someone liked a partner’s post or picture. Some might even worry that their partner is cheating on them with the user who’s liking their pictures, whose pictures they’re liking, or both. Some individuals in this situation might be concerned about not measuring up and become envious of the other person.
There are even exact statistics on how many likes a post should have. The acceptable average varies by medium and audience size. On Instagram, it’s 3-6% of the follower number.
They Are A Source Of Distraction
Social media can make real-life dating unpleasant, too. One doesn’t need to imagine being on a date with a guy or girl who’s heavily distracted by their phone or awkward without it. FOMO lingers on, leaving a distinctly disagreeable mark on dating experiences. The obsession with what is happening on social media never seems to go away for some people.
Couple “Goals”
Social media influencers lead couples to set unrealistic relationship “goals.” There are many examples, but one of the earliest goes all the way back to 2015. Jay Alverraz and Alexis Ren took over YouTube and Instagram with photos and videos of them traveling the world, going out for lavish dinners, and indulging in a luxury lifestyle.
To the dismay of their millions of followers, they broke up just two years later. Jay found the social media fame too much to handle. He started treating his girlfriend with disrespect and only cared about the money the posts were making. The relationship made Alexis anxious because she was constantly worried that she didn’t look good enough for Jay. Still, millions of people worldwide wanted a relationship like Jay and Alexis, typified by displays of wealth and an excessive focus on money and appearance.