While moving to a new home can be exciting, it’s also an upheaval of the familiar. This is especially true for children, who have little control over the decision but are still affected by the changes to their world.
Understanding and preempting the challenges they may face is key to a smoother transition. To boost their sense of security and even optimism about the journey ahead, here are five proactive strategies to make moving easier.
1. Stress Over Routine Disruption
Moving disrupts everyone’s routines. This can cause stress and confusion for children, particularly neurotypical children or kids with autism who get an essential sense of predictability and structure from routines. Luckily, there are multiple ways to address the issue.
Explain what the changes will look like through words or even a visual schedule. This will help them expect disruptions rather than being too surprised by them. Try to hold on to some routines when possible. For instance, if regular snack times will be impossible on moving day, try to maintain your typical dinner time or your child’s bedtime.
2. Difficulty Letting Go Of Old Items
Whether you’re going across the country or down the street, you don’t want to bother packing, carrying and unpacking items you know you don’t want. This decluttering process can be challenging for children. Amidst a lot of change, they may want to hold on to what’s familiar even more, including toys they’ve long outgrown.
Focus on giving items, not losing them. Talk about where you’ll donate the toys they’re ready to let go of and how they’ll bring joy to another child. Avoid pushing too hard about any one item if your child expresses an attachment to it. Move on to other objects, and eventually, revisit anything you’ve set aside. Your child may have changed their mind after practicing decluttering.
Either way, celebrate them for giving to others – while you might want to keep your packing list short, helping your child feel comfortable and safe is more important than getting rid of a teddy bear that’s seen better days.
3. Resentment And Anger
Older children and teenagers, in particular, may feel that the move was forced upon them. Lacking a say in a decision that uproots their lives can lead to feelings of powerlessness, which often surface as resentment and anger.
Listen and grant them agency wherever possible. Give them space to express their anger without becoming defensive. Validate their perspective by saying, “I hear how frustrated you are, and I understand why you feel that way.”
While they can’t veto the move, having them participate in the process can make the transition easier. Give them a sense of control by asking for their input on houses during the search or letting them have creative control over their new room. Feeling like a respected contributor can help diffuse their anger.
4. Insecurity About Changing Schools
Starting a new school comes with its own set of fears, like getting lost, not knowing the teachers, entering a new social scene and trying to fit in. This academic and social uncertainty can be intimidating for kids of any age.
Demystify the experience by doing some research together. Explore the new school’s website, look at photos, and read about its clubs or sports teams. If you can, arrange for a tour of the school before the first day so your child can walk the halls and find their classroom. Contact the school to see if they have a new-student buddy program. Just knowing one friendly face on the first day can make all the difference.
5. Anxiety Over Loss Of Social Life
One of the hardest parts of moving for a child is leaving friends behind. The idea of losing contact with their social circle can cause feelings of grief and loneliness. They may not have the perspective to understand that new friendships are possible and can only focus on what they are losing.
Validate their feelings and acknowledge their sadness by saying, “I know it will be so hard to leave your friends. It’s okay to be sad about that.” Help them host a “see you later” party or plan one-on-one goodbyes. You can also help them brainstorm ways to meet new people after the move, like volunteering at community centers or local parks.
Most importantly, empower them to stay connected by exchanging contact information. Help them schedule their first video call or visit with a friend shortly after the move, so they have something to look forward to. You’ll have your hands full on the day of the move, especially if you’re driving the truck yourself, which will mean towing your own car correctly.
From Stress To Strength
From the tangible stress of decluttering to the anxieties of leaving friends, each challenge requires patience and thoughtfulness. By guiding your children through their feelings, you equip them with resilience and coping skills that last.
When children feel heard, supported and more in control, they learn that they can face big changes. Lay the foundation for your family to truly thrive in the next chapter of your lives.
Author Bio
Oscar Collins is the editor-in-chief at Modded, where he writes about health and fitness. Follow him on Twitter @TModded for regular updates on his work, and subscribe to Modded Minute for more!