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Home»Entertainment»The Breitbart Guide to the Best and Worst of Eurovision 2026
Entertainment

The Breitbart Guide to the Best and Worst of Eurovision 2026

May 15, 2026No Comments11 Mins Read
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The glitteriest night of the year in Eurasia and Australia will soon be upon us: the Eurovision Song Contest, a now 70-year-old music extravaganza beloved around the world for its shameless embrace of feather boas, sequins, pyrotechnics, and all brands of kitsch.

The Eurovision Song Contest is the world’s largest international music competition, this year featuring 35 countries sending entries in nearly every genre of Western music – from heavy metal to opera and sugary ballads to aggressive techno. The winner is decided by a combination of public viewer votes and national juries made up of professional musical artists.

While often mocked, particularly in the Anglosphere, for its decadence and lack of irony, Eurovision was born as a deadly serious project: a way to channel patriotism and nationalism in a healthy way to avoid a third world war. In a Europe battered by bureaucratic globalism for over a decade decreeing any matter of national pride passé, the song contest is one of the last remaining safe public spaces to celebrate national identity.

Knowing this, the global left has aggressively targeted Eurovision for cultural colonization – at best – or destruction, in the worst case, for the past decade. Countries with left-wing public broadcasters have flooded the contest with entries featuring highly sexualized lyrics, gender confusion messages, and even satanic imagery.

The presence of Israel in the contest, consistent since 1974, became the cause of riots following the October 7, 2023, genocidal Hamas massacre, and prompted the boycott this year of the contest by five countries: Spain, the Netherlands, Slovenia, Ireland, and Iceland.

The European Broadcast Union (EBU), which revamped its leadership between 2025 and this year, has significantly cracked down on displays of pro-Hamas sentiment at the event. Combined with leftist artist boycotts in the past year, this has made the 2026 edition one of the most family-friendly and conservative contests in modern history. Competing songs include patriotic homages to beloved homelands, anti-mass migration anthems, and a song dedicated to the beauty of getting married and having lots of children. The high-energy dance beats and strobe lights remain (this is still Eurovision) but this is one of the few Western cultural institutions remaining that has shifted markedly to the right in the last decade – a phenomenon Americans would be wise to study.

Below, everything you need to know to follow Saturday’s contest: the best songs, the worst songs, what the bookies predict to see take the trophy and what makes this Breitbart editor’s ears bleed.

Will Win: Finland – Linda Lampenius and Pete Parkkonen, “Liekinheitin”

With a vocalist straight out of early aughts Telemundo central casting (you’re welcome, ladies) and the only live instrumental performance in the contest this year, Finland has long been expected to crush their competition on Saturday. As the winner is decided by points from both a combination of professional jury and the general public, winners have to offer both something exciting enough to motivate viewers to go online and cast their votes, but competent enough singing and performance to attract the jury. Some countries choose to court the public with exuberant techno-rap that the public loves but the jury ignores, while others submit painful ballads that bring juries to tears but bore the public.

“Liekinheitin” manages to do both. The song title means “Flamethrower” and it is the story of an irresistible love gone wrong (many such cases at Eurovision, see also Denmark below). Finland’s staging team took this opportunity to effective set the arena on fire as singer Parkkonen narrates his sad fate before a confessional, while Lampenius, playing violin in the background, appears as a symbol of either the divine listening to his plight or as the remaining good left in his heart. While the EBU typically bans the playing of live instruments at Eurovision to prevent a logistical disaster every three minutes (when countries trade off the stage), Lampenius received special permission to play her violin given her status as a legendary violinist in her country, as a songwriter on “Liekinheitin,” and the rare performer to have no vocals on the song. The live playing definitely stands about among the playbacks.

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It is deeply symbolic, highly dramatic, and reminiscent of Will Ferrell’s 2020 Eurovision movie. Any other entry emerging victorious would be a shock.

Should Win: Albania – Alis, “Nân”

In a weaker year – or if its neighbors were more positive towards Albania – “Nân” would be a certain winner. Alis has arguably been the most consistent singer during the pre-Eurovision “campaign” season, failing to miss a single note in public appearances prior to the contest. And then there’s the song itself: a richly layered homage not just to all mothers, but to the motherland, and a rebuke of mass migration.

“Nân” means “mother,” and the chorus shares the lament of a mother who watches her adult child leave home, understanding rationally that it must happen due to the economic hardship in her country but bearing immeasurable pain. The mother in the song is not just the mother of an Albanian immigrant, but Albania itself, a nation that has suffered centuries of occupation and war, creating a sprawling global diaspora torn from its roots.

In the doomed 2020 edition of Eurovision, Swiss-Albanian singer Gjon’s Tears – representing his adopted country – asked in his French-language song “Répondez-moi,” “Why am I a stranger here, a stranger there?” “Nân” answers that neither he nor the millions of Albanians in the diaspora are strangers; on the contrary, their homeland cries for them. The thoughtfulness of entering in dialogue with a previous Eurovision entry, one that was first performed on the Eurovision stage last year, between the son of immigrants and those who stayed home, is brilliant and deserves a high reward on the scoreboard.

Rest of the Best

Denmark: Søren Torpegaard Lund, “Før Vi Går Hjem”

It is hard to understate how difficult it is to write a Eurovision club anthem that sounds fresh and not like something that hit the German Billboard chart in 2005. At least ten countries a year try and most of them are, at best, embarrassing (see Sweden’s entry this year), and at worst absolute nonsense (sorry, Bulgaria). “Før Vi Går Hjem” succeeds because it is, at its core, a ballad – one singer Lund also performs beautifully with just a piano – that has been effectively remixed into its own lush, dark, but oddly relatable tragedy of youth being wasted on toxic lovers. The chorus is never performed the same way twice; towards the end of the live performance that won Lund his place in Eurovision, he pushes his voice to the limit in a way that conveys real frustration and pain. It is a serious masterpiece in Eurovision’s most unserious genre, a real gem.

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United Kingdom – Look Mum No Computer, “Eins, Zwei, Drei”

“Eins, Zwei, Drei” has already proven heavily divisive this year and it has not even competed, as the United Kingdom is one of the “big five” countries that does not have to compete in a semifinal to get to the Grand Final stage. On its surface, the song is a silly electro-dance hit about desperately needing a vacation. There is no opera and a lot of shouting in this one, leading many to suggest the jury will ignore it. But just as Linda Lampenius deserves credit for being the only contestant to be playing an instrument live this year, Look Mum No Computer deserves credit for being the only contestant to build his own set and write his song on instruments that he built personally.

LMNC, real name Sam Battle, is – unlike many in this contest – not an alum of The Voice of [Country], [Insert Country]‘s Got Talent, or, shudder, Love Island. He is a museum curator, classic car enthusiast, and engineer specializing in using analog technology to build musical instruments and craft songs. Eurovision has never seen anything like him, and he’s the breath of fresh air this contest needed, especially for a country that has become notorious for zero-point finishes in the past few years.

Italy – Sal da Vinci, “Per Sempre Si”

Two years ago, the winner of Eurovision was a Swiss rapper celebrating “non-binary” identity. Now, a song promoting the joy and fulfillment of traditional marriage, of the dream of raising children together and truly committing to a lifetime union, has a strong shot of taking the trophy. Sure, it’s shameless pandering to women of a certain age (me), but the tune is guaranteed to put a smile on your face and the message is one Europe desperately needs today. Good on Sal da Vinci for standing out not just with his formidable voice but by rejecting “edginess” for its own sake.

Come for the message, stay for the extra cheesy Italian flag reveal toward the end.

Czechia – Daniel Zizka,  “Crossroads”

Simple, simple, simple. The presentation is just one guy in a button-down and a set of funhouse mirrors. The song is a coming-of-age power ballad. There is very little to say because this is a bare-bones concept executed to perfection, like that hole-in-the-wall restaurant that only has two things on the menu, but in a just world, they’d be Michelin-worthy. It especially stands out this year in a contest where everyone else has opted for maximalism, running around using every square inch of the stage and then setting it on fire.

Try not to cry when he hits that last high note; it’s not possible.

Greece – Aklyas, “Ferto”

The exact opposite of “Crossroads,” “Ferto” is an ambitious mess of a production that manages to pack a video game theme, ancient Greek statues, an entire apartment (?), and a pyrotechnic scooter ride into three minutes. If it were merely classic Eurovision meaningless nonsense, it would still be extremely fun. But, towards the end, the song slows down, and Akylas reveals that the lunacy of the song is meant to evoke what it feels like to grow up poor and struggle, working desperately to create a comfortable life for your family. The song is about the anxiety you feel when you finally “make it” and start feverishly buying whatever to pay back your hard-working mom. It’s the perfect marriage of “Nân” with “Eins, Zwei, Drei.”

See also  Swedish Singer Loreen Wins Eurovision Song Contest for Second Time

The Worst of the Rest

France – Monroe, “Regarde !”

Let’s get this out of the way: Monroe is an adorable, extremely talented 17-year-old American, and she deserves a prosperous career that allows her voice to thrive. That said, this is a song contest, and “Regarde !” is absolutely unlistenable screeching. It barely has lyrics because half the song is Monroe doing operatic scales. The writing is disjointed, again, because there is no central tune to carry the song as it is constantly interrupted by shrieks. Making the song even more infuriating is that it follows two years of winning entries featuring opera – 2024’s “The Code” and 2025’s “Wasted Love” – so it feels like France decided to lazily slop together something vaguely resembling opera and call it a day. The whole thing is an offense to the intelligence of the viewers and to the contest.

Germany – Sarah Engels, “Fire”

Also in the “didn’t even try” category, this is a song that could have been a great pop hit in 2002, which means it sounds like Eurovision entries from 2010-2020. Eurovision has already had in recent memory girly dance songs with titles such as “Firefighter,” “Fighter,” “On Fire,” and “Fuego,” and Finland’s “Flamethrower” this year is a much more unique take on this exhausted theme. Completely unnecessary for this song to exist.

Australia – Delta Goodrem, “Eclipse”

I’m an American, so I have no idea who Delta Goodrem is, but the internet informs me that she is very famous in Australia for being a judge on The Voice. Unfortunately, for that reason, this reheat of Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This” from 2002 is threatening to take the whole contest. No amount of flying pedestals and smoke machines can make this interesting.
Malta – Aidan, “Bella”

An extremely boring song trying too hard to be a romantic Italian-style ballad – when Sal da Vinci is right there! – the only positive thing to be said about “Bella” is that Malta has apparently outraged the entire continent by spending prodigiously on putting obnoxious billboards with Aidan in his Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure-style cowboy outfit all over Europe, demanding public votes. Not that that is a positive thing, but at least it’s funny, and people can stop complaining that Israel is the only country that actively campaigns for the win anymore. And at least it’s not last year, when Malta tried to slip the c-word into its song and cried censorship when the EBU demanded it change its lyrics, then added graphics to its performance showing female legs opening and closing as an apparent form of protest. So at least “Bella” is better than that.

For previous editions of the Breitbart guide, see below:

Breitbart Eurovision Guide 2025

Breitbart Eurovision Guide 2024

Breitbart Eurovision Guide 2023

Breitbart Eurovision Guide 2022

Breitbart Eurovision Guide 2021

Follow Frances Martel on Facebook and Twitter.

Breitbart Eurovision Guide worst
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